


The Winchester Clan Chronicles- Beginnings- Secrets and Pies

by Eleana_Faye_Drazen



Series: The Winchester Clan Chronicles [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anger, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Graphic Description, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Plot Twists, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 15:24:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 43,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10028060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eleana_Faye_Drazen/pseuds/Eleana_Faye_Drazen
Summary: Sex, Love, Betrayal, Bondage... Sex. It's a story about falling apart and coming together. It's about losing each other and finding each other. It's about love amongst chaos and light amongst the darkness. It's about salvation, forgiveness, life, love, loss, death, discovery and redemption. It's a story about finding where you belong. It's about tragic endings and bright new beginnings. The Winchesters and friends have a rough journey ahead, a long and twisted road… only to find out how worth the trip was in the end.





	1. Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is an origins story for a series I'm creating, The Winchester Clan Chronicles, hope you enjoy it and please feel free to show your support :)

Sam was sleeping soundly, peacefully dreaming which became a glorious achievement, starting about 6 months ago. Things had been going so well since he accepted who he was and what he was made for. He was a hunter for one and there was no denying it. And the lives he saved from apocalypse to werewolf was worth the weight he carried. He also came to terms with the fact that he may not have everything he wants in this life, but he felt blessed, because life truly gave him what he needed. 

There was a sudden fire that flushed under his skin that started him awake. The pleasure of lips around his cock. “Mmm, Cas” he dreamingly stuttered out. He lazily opened his eyes to see Cas’s beautiful blue eyes staring up at him as he took Sam’s throbbing cock all the way to the base, which at it’s size was a feat. Sam eagerly thrust into Cas’s mouth and Cas hummed at the enthusiasm. Cas was naked with his ass up in the air and Sam knew what he wanted. He grabbed Cas by the hair pulling Cas’s head off his cock, Cas hissing at the aggression. Sam pulled Cas up, he grabbed Cas’s knees and pulled until Cas was straddling him. From here Sam grabbed Cas’s hips and pulled him down onto his dick, confident it was lubed enough from Cas’s saliva. Cas silently yelped from the pain and pleasure. This is how comfortable they were with each other. They made love most of the time, but sometimes they fucked and this helped with daily stresses, fucking it out of their systems. Sam took complete control leaving Cas while on top completely helpless. Sam held tight to Cas’s hips pounding him like a stubborn nail. But this wasn’t enough, Sam wanted to exert more control, more pain, more pleasure, more intensity. He wildly flipped Cas over on his back, flinging Cas’s legs open and around his hips. Cas was angled so his head was buried in the pillow, but from the waist up was angled upward. Sam lost all control and slammed into Cas, every single inch. He couldn’t help it, Sam wanted to fuck. Cas felt Sam in his stomach, his mouth a gasp, eyes tightly shut. Sam was so deep every inch stroking against Cas’s prostate. Cas couldn’t help the sounds he was making and Sam couldn’t have that, didn’t want to wake Dean up. He let Cas’s legs fall as Sam slammed onto Cas, completely smothering him, one hand covering Cas’s mouth the other gripping Cas’s shoulder for leverage which helped Sam fuck Cas so deep his cock was buried up to the balls. Cas had difficulty breathing as only his nostrils were left to breath from. Sam thrust intensely into Cas, grinding Cas’s cock against Sam’s sweating stomach. Sam used Cas’s shoulder as a handle as he relentlessly pounded as hard as he could. Sam whispered in Cas’s ear “yea, you like that don’t you?” to which Cas replied with a muffled scream, the scream was so intense Cas’s cheeks even puffed out. That’s why Sam had to cover Cas’s mouth, because Cas was loud when he got fucked good and proper by Sam. Sam replaced his hand on Cas’s mouth with his lips, kissing Cas hard as he now had both hands on Cas’s shoulders driving hard into Cas. Cas was swollen on the inside, he was raw and hurting but he loved it, every inch, every second. Cas was about ready to blow but what finally clinched it was when Sam leaned down and whispered “I love you Cas” and it was a done deal, Cas grabbed the pillow he had been clenching the whole time and pushed it over his face. They both came so hard, Cas’s head spinning from the lack of oxygen, la mort d'amour. Sam settled onto Cas stroking hard thrusts to finish them off. But they both came so hard they couldn’t get their hard-ons down. They were tingling from head to toe, their bodies vibrating, they were intoxicated by the sensation and every part of their body was heightened and sensitive to which every touch seemed to hit a raw and exposed nerve. So Sam continued this motion rocking more gently this time until they climaxed again, and again, and again. Multiple orgasms wasn’t anything new to them as they had an intense attraction and love. Satisfied they fell into each other, Sam collapsing on his side. Next came the regular routine, a quick silent shower and lots of incense to cover the smell of their passion. Sam had to tell Dean he was practicing Buddhism to cover it up. 

The alarm went off at 6 am, this was also part of the routine. They knew Dean would never be up that early, though a few times as Cas was about to sneak into Sam’s room he almost got caught because Dean was up until then. Cas had to pass it off as he was grabbing something to drink and disappointedly went back to bed listening for any sign that Dean had gone to sleep. Cas begrudgingly crawled out of bed and got dressed. He leaned over to Sam kissing him hard, fast and repeatedly. They couldn’t get enough of each other and this was causing a problem. But they were in love and what could be so wrong with that? Cas did his usual walk of shame down the hall to his room thinking about how he missed Sam’s touch already. Cas flopped down on his bed, he found himself caressing himself thinking of his Sam Winchester. 

As morning rolled around the bunker began to rustle with life as Sam, Dean and Cas started fumbling about getting cereal and coffee. Sam with his trusty computer in hand started looking for strange occurrences throughout the US. “Hey guys”? Sam pipes up, “you guys have winter coats right”? “Why”? Dean draws out. “Well I think I have something, it seems there has been some havoc being wreaked on a small island in Alaska, Lawrence Island to be exact in a place called Gambell. According to the lore, the native Inuit people there think it’s something called a Tuurngait which are apparently neutral spirits, it’s how the Angakuit use them”. “Anga what now”? Dean blurts out. “The Angakuit, they are a counsel of spiritual healers and guiders. They call upon these spirits to aid in hunts and heal the sick. But sometimes they call on them to do harm which seems to be the case here. Animals and crops are dying, people are being struck sick and unable to hunt, there were three deaths that were under ‘mysterious circumstances’, and the people are in general suffering. Apparently it all started when an Angakuit went rogue after he came home from a long hunt to find his wife and child dead. He blamed the community for not watching out for them and the other local Angakuits for not calling upon the healing Tuurngaits to assist them”. Dean again cuts in “how the hell did you get all that information in less then 10 minutes dude”?, Sam guffaws and turns his computer screen to Dean “it’s in an Inuit circular, they sent out a call for help”. “So how do we kill one of these Turnblats”? Cas smiles “a Hair reference Dean”? With which Dean replies “Metatron may have been a grade A d-bag but the fact that he gave you an instant run down of all those references via osmosis was a blessing.” Dean smiles and as usual glares at Cas longer then necessary, as if he is undressing Cas with his eyes, the look that sent shivers down Cas’s spine, that made his cock twitch. But now is not the time for all this. He had to focus on Sam, oh sweet Sam… no, now is not the time to think on that either. 

“I have to run out to get supplies for the ritual, it takes 9 days so bundle up” Sam declares, very nonchalantly Cas adds “I’ll join you, I could use some fresh air”, “Ok cool” Sam replies matching Cas’s blandness as not to arouse suspicion from Dean, knowing why Cas wanted to come, so they could be alone again. Sam knew what that meant, a trip to that little pay by the hour motel downtown. Sam loved their secret rendezvous, their was no chance of being caught. They could lose themselves in each other. Sam almost started to sport a semi thinking about it… but keep it cool in in front of Dean, don’t be so eager. “So Dean why don’t you stay here and pack up some basic necessities. Cas, you up to fast traveling”? “One at a time and bags separately but yea, I can do that. I know it’s better then flying right Dean?”, Dean smiles at the consideration. 

That’s one of the many things Dean loved about Cas. So many reasons but Cas’s consideration for how he felt was one of Cas’s more endearing qualities. In order to match everyone else’s blasé attempts he simply replied “Ok, not a problem”.  
Dean disappointedly agrees to stay behind. He wanted to go with Cas, or even better have Cas stay behind so he could spend some time alone with him. Dean had been building up the nerve for so long, to grab Cas and kiss him, Dean thought of their first kiss, soft supple lips. Dean would have lovely dreams remembering Cas naked and spread before him. About touching every exposed part of Cas, and Cas trembling beneath him. About Cas’s beautiful mouth around his swollen cock. About crashing into Cas, the ecstasy, Cas calling his name as Dean drives deep into Cas, slow, deep and hard. Now Dean was the one about to sport a semi. But he couldn’t let it show, had to keep it cool in front of Sam and Cas as not to arouse suspicion now after he and Cas worked so hard to keep it a secret. Dean knew he and Cas had danced around this for far too long and Dean also knew he would have to reclaim Cas sooner rather then later, concerned that later for them would be too late. He just never felt like the time was right, or so he convinced himself of that anyway. He started to realize that not only was it becoming harder to drift from Cas’s orbit, he realized that all this time he was simply rationalizing with himself and talking himself out of it. But Dean knew it was time and he was going to make a move…. Soon, he told himself, soon.

And so Cas and Sam head off to “gather supplies” trying to figure out what they would do first, but that was a stupid question. 

Sam and Cas pulled into the motel parking lot, Cas stayed in the car while Sam went up to book a room for two hours, somewhere in the back, their usual room, in a distant corner where hopefully everyone could hear them scream. Sam paid in cash as always just in case Dean actually read a credit card statement. Sam and Cas were kissing hard before they even entered the room, Cas pushed up against the door already stripping out of his trench coat while Sam fumbled with the keys. Sam finally got the door open and they fell inside. Standing, stripping, kissing, hopping on one leg pulling pants off, all the way to the bed which by the time they had gotten to they were down to their boxers and socks which they were trying to step on and out of. Cas fell onto the bed pulling the last sock off as Sam crashed on top of him pulling Cas’s boxers off gracelessly. Sam could barely control himself seeing Cas there splayed before him. They had fucked each others brains out earlier in the wee hours of the morning but now, there was time and they didn’t have to worry about being loud, by the sounds of it, it would almost be a contest to see who could be louder them or the rooms surrounding them as this was obviously a motel for affairs. Sam knelt above Cas taking in all his beauty while being aroused by the defilement of this beautiful creature. Sam laid on top of Cas kissing and grinding his hips against Cas’s, hard cocks grinding into each other, oh but that wasn’t enough, they wouldn’t be satisfied until Sam was inside, Cas needing the feeling of being filled up and loved with every stroke. 

There was a silent wonder as to how they got here. The story is simple, Sam always loved Cas from afar, he never made fun of Cas, was always a constant support for Cas, always there to lend a hug, as a matter of fact it was Sam that taught Cas to hug properly. Sam always had an open heart, door or an ear. Sam sat idly by for years watching Cas squander his love on Dean, Dean reciprocating only with the flirting but no follow through. Sam watched as Cas’s heart broke over the years. Sam knew if he was patient, because he was the one that loved Cas and was willing to show it and so in patience he sat and suffered waiting for the day Cas opened his eyes. All Sam ever wanted to do was show Cas what it was like to have someone love him back. He always wanted to be closer to Cas, but he kept his cool, his silence, his distance and his patience. It all came to a head 6 months ago when Dean was on one of his tirades, treating Cas like recycled dog shit that Sam couldn’t take it any more. Sam burst in just in time to see Cas’s eyes welling up with tears, a look of dumb foundedness as to why once again Dean was taking his frustrations out on him. Sam got nose to nose with his brother fighting everything in him to slug his brother for Cas’s mistreatment. “Dean, I booked you a room at Sleeper’s Inn, go there, get drunk, do whatever you need to, to calm yourself down. No one feels like dealing with your shit tonight”. Dean looked both flabbergasted and hurt but nonetheless took off. Once Dean left Sam turned his attention to Cas, all of his attention. He held Cas as he cried, being supportive and comforting as always. Except this time when Cas looked up at Sam as if to thank him Sam did something unexpected for both of them. He leaned in and kissed Cas, tenderly, lovingly. Cas seemed to resist at first thinking on how it would hurt Dean, but then again… all the times that Dean hurt Cas seemed to melt the guilt away. Cas was never torn until that moment, investing everything into Dean, he never saw Sam that way, until that moment. In an almost epiphany Cas realized, it was always Sam wasn’t it? Oh God, how had he been so blind. Sam’s patience paid off. It all became clear to Cas in that moment in Sam’s arms, it was always Sam who stayed back in the shadows, loving him from afar by being a better friend then Dean. Sam was also torn in that moment, wondering if it was wrong to take advantage of Cas in such a vulnerable state. They kissed passionately, then looking into each other’s eyes all these mixed feeling were resolved, everything seemed to click in that moment. Damned be the consequences, they eagerly and gently undressed each other first with their eyes, then follow through with their hands, fumbling like virgins which in this way they both were. Sam mounted Cas and kissed him furiously for hours, not wanting to rush the feeling, touching, kissing, playing, fondling until they were both breathless, and couldn’t stand being so far apart. Sam kneeled before Cas, Cas trembling with in trepidation as he saw the size of Sam’s fully erect cock realizing where it was about to go. Cas’s eyes widened and winced at it, Sam smiled and soothed Cas “it’s Ok baby, I’m going to take it nice and slow”, “baby”, Cas purred at the notion. Sam put two fingers in Cas’s mouth enjoying every lick, the arousal at one point becoming almost painful. He began to scissor Cas open, his hole warm, welcoming and inviting. It didn’t resist Sam’s advances and once he felt Cas was nice and loose he moved up Cas’s body and said “suck it, get it wet for me” which Cas obliged. Once everything seemed in order, Sam slowly, slowly and lovingly began to push himself into Cas’s tight hole. Slowly, and the first thing he hit was Cas’s prostate making Cas’s eyes roll into the back of his head, he fucked himself onto Sam’s cock wanting the full experience. Sam took this as a hint and plowed fully into Cas making Cas squeal, it hurt so good. It didn’t take long as it was their first time, but that’s all it took for them to get hooked on each other. 

Sam pondered the experience for what was a long moment looking into Cas’s eyes. Sam thought of their first time with fondness often, and how it only got better each time making both their cocks and love grow. Cas interrupted Sam’s daydream glare “what are you thinking about Sam”? And it was Ok to ask this because Sam and Cas had no secrets, what they shared was pure intimacy, that is beyond sex, they could literally lay in each other’s arms some nights and just talk and hold each other and that was just as wonderful as the sex. “I was thinking about our first time Cas. Remember I did something like this” Sam leaned down and played with Cas’s ear, “and then I believe I did something like this” nuzzling into Cas’s neck, licking and nipping at it. Sam spent the afternoon recreating the first time, and Cas loved every second of it. Sam was such a romantic at times and always but never really surprised Cas with his actions. They made slow passionate love that afternoon, it was relaxing and beautiful as the skies greyed up and rain splattered against the window. They set each other ablaze, flushing under each other’s breath. They stared deeply into each other’s eyes as Sam led Cas through his orgasm. That was another thing he loved, except for that first time, Cas never simply came, he had orgasm after orgasm. The type of feeling that ran from head to curling toe, the numbing release that would turn him into Jell-O, completely unraveling and melting under Sam’s dominance, Cas loved the submissive role. They laid there humming in each other’s arms listening to the sound of the pitter patter of the rain, regrettably looking at the clock seeing they only had about half an hour remaining and knowing they had to take their routine quick shower when all they wanted to do was lay their for a few more hours wrapped in each other’s embrace, making love several more times. But they knew they couldn’t, Dean would already be wondering what took so long. The rain, there was their excuse, this time. They were full of excuses and fearful Dean would finally ask that question that would undo everything. But they didn’t like to think in those terms, they just accepted things as they were and didn’t push their luck simply cherishing the time they could have alone together. 

Sam and Cas returned to the bunker three hours later with their supplies olive oil, peppermint oil, rosemary oil, crushed black peppercorns, pine oil, a piece of obsidian the ingredients for the banishing oil, and a large black candle with Eel Kanno Taf inscribed into it. Cas had memorized the bible so he knew Psalm 49 by heart which had to be repeated through each night of the ritual. They were ready to banish a troublesome Tuurngait thanks to a fiery Scottish witch named Rowena. 

They entered the bunker and were met with Dean’s furrowed brow, “what the hell took you guys so long”? The question lingered heavy in the air, as Sam felt himself flush at the implication and repercussion. It’s a good thing Cas is always quick witted to which he replied “it started raining really hard and there was no visibility so Sam and I stopped for coffee to give it time to clear up”. “Oh, Ok good I’m glad I was worried something had happened but thankfully you guys kept safe” Dean grinned and winked at Cas whose stomach dropped. “I wouldn’t want anything to happen to Baby… or you guys either of course” to which was amplified by a goofy grin. Sam breathed a sigh of relief that Dean bought the lie… again. But wait, did he really? “You know I was just kind of wondering because you guys always take forever to do things” this time both Cas’s and Sam’s stomach dropped. This time it was Sam’s quick thinking “We just enjoy being outside, it’s not our fault you’re a recluse and never ask to come with us”, another lie Dean seemed to nod in agreement to, thank God., “good point” Dean concluded which helped everyone sigh with relief. 

Cas often wondered how long he could take the deceit, not only to Dean but to Sam and Cas’s relationship. He hated the fact that they had to sneak around, that was what broke Cas and Dean apart. Cas hated lying to Dean, Cas hated lying to Sam about what happened with him and Dean, he hated that Sam had to lie to his own brother. It cut him like a knife, this tangled web they wove. Cas often wondered what would happen if he and Sam just came out, what the outcome would be, would Dean feel as Cesar, and Sam Brutus? Maybe Dean would accept it but the shameless flirting seemed to indicate otherwise, especially given him and Dean’s past. No, for the time this was best for everyone involved but inevitably like a Band-Aid they all would just have to rip the truth out quickly and prepare for the fallout.


	2. Case File: Tuurngait

Cas escorted one by one Sam, Dean and the supplies to Gambell, Alaska, straight to local Angakuit’s doorstep. A striking woman with long black hair, almond shaped brown eyes and pure, flawless and perfect flushed skin opened the door instinctively. “My name is Tanaraq and it is a pleasure to meet you Sam, Dean, Castiel we have been expecting you”. The boys smiled at the welcoming committee. They were invited to a feast for their arrival. Tanaraq explained that on one of her spiritual journeys, she reached out to them knowing of how they helped so many. She was the one that printed the article in the paper knowing they would respond quickly as was their nature when trouble loomed. Sam, Cas and Dean took everything in and thanked Tanaraq and the others for their hospitality and set to work on their mission. For eight nights, they lit their candle and said their prayers. On the ninth night they allowed the candle to burn down completely as per the lore. The nine nights seemed fairly uneventful compared to what they were used to, it seemed the banishing spell might have taken immediate effect on the creature in question. It seemed to bind the Tuurngait from the beginning which was a blessing in and of itself. Sam, Dean and Cas stayed an extra few days to make sure the spell had the desired effect, successfully banishing the creature. On the 11th night, Tanaraq sat silently with the boys trying to figure out how to express the vision she had. She simply settled on this, “lies destroy people and relationships, everything that lives in the shadows will eventually be illuminated and there’s no way to stop it. The best thing to do is come clean with each other and try to mend it from there”. Sam and Cas were silenced and stunned, Dean was just confused “thanks for the advice but there are no secrets between us right guys”? Cas and Sam answered with a heavy heart and guilt buried deep in the pit of their stomachs and almost in unison “yea of course”, another lie, something they had gotten way too good at. “Once more with feeling guys, I’m not entirely convinced. Is there something I should know”? Dean blurted out and the intensity was killing Sam and Cas, they almost lost it but simply replied one at time Cas explaining “Of course not, I’m just a little out of it from the ritual”, Sam not far behind explaining “I’m just a little preoccupied with how effective the ritual was, of course there isn’t anything Dean”. Dean seemed satisfied but had an air of not being quite convinced however accepting it at face value. Tanaraq simply sighed, her message being completely and recklessly abandoned. After staying for another 5 days, when the Inuit people felt the Tuurngait had been properly disposed of they gathered to the rogue Angakuit’s hut where they seized him and bound him so he could no longer use his powers, a task that Cas was specifically asked to assist with given his angelic powers even if they were slightly besmirched by all the dirty things he allowed Sam to do to him. 

Later that evening there was another feast in their honor and they were set to leave in the morning. It was a little crowded so Cas decided to go outside for some fresh air. Unexpectedly Cas heard footsteps in the snow, turning on heel expecting Sam to join him “Sa…” he got out when he saw it was actually Dean. Cas tried to recover before it was too late “say… what are you doing out here”? Dean’s green eyes glinted against the purple sunset, the Aurora Borealis beginning to come to life. “Cas listen, I think I understand now what Tanaraq was talking about, there has been a lie I have been keeping from you”, Cas flushed his heart racing. He instantly began to think of ways to diffuse the situation. “Dean…” “no listen Cas she was right, this has been eating away at me since we split, but for some reason more so in the last 6 months”. 6 months Cas contemplated, did Dean instinctively know that he was losing Cas in that time? “I said I was over you, but I’m not… I never will be, I know that now. I know I haven’t always been the best person or a great friend, and I know I was a shitty boyfriend but Cas, I’m still carrying that torch, I still love you and I want you back… aw hell…” Dean searching for the words finally settling on “screw it” the moment Cas dreaded, Dean grabbed Cas’s face and kissed him, slowly tongues tangling around each other. This was what Cas had always wanted but damn it, why did it have to come too late? Dean grabbed Cas by the shoulders and pushed him up against a wall, not letting Cas come up for air, breathless from the kissing. Dean reached down and began to unzip Cas’s pants then getting a handful of cock and stroking. It felt better then Cas had remembered, oh why didn’t this happen before Sam? Oh his sweet Sam. Cas could have easily cum all over himself in a matter of seconds, Dean made it easy to lose it. But in spite of that, Cas shoved Dean off of him and zippered himself back up “Dean I can’t” how to break it gently “I gave up on that notion long ago. I just don’t feel that for you anymore. I am so sorry Dean I wish I could but it’s too late”, way to go easy on the guy Cas thought, then there was this dreaded silence and hurt on Dean’s face. “Cas I know I can be a dick genuinely but I mean I have always loved you I thought you knew that” “I thought I knew that too but after a couple of years I thought I was just imagining it. I mean you kept your hetero image up so consistently how could I have guessed we would ever be here… again. And I’m sorry Dean, it’s too little too late”, it hurt Cas to say these things but he had no idea how to say what he needed to without devastating Dean. Cas could almost see Dean’s heart sink beneath the ice. And then it happened, God help Cas, the question he feared above all others, “Cas be honest with me, is there someone else”? The question lingered with hesitation and Cas looked at his feet trying to keep his head from spinning from the anticipation of fury that would fly forth once Cas admitted the truth, God help Cas. And in that silence, Dean knew the answer. However before Cas could even confirm Dean’s suspicion to his relief someone else was standing there ready to help shield Cas from the heat. It was Sam, ready to stand by his man, “yes Dean, there is”, Dean turned on his heel to face his brother “no, not you Sammy… no” the tears welling up on Dean’s face, everyone’s heart was breaking. “It can’t be you, Sam anyone else but you. You knew how I felt…” “you may have felt it Dean but you never showed it. Cas needed to be loved back but you never had the balls. I sacked up, I stepped up to the plate and gave him what he needed. His love grew hollow and un reciprocated and I was the one who watched him die a little every time you decided to use him as your personal punching bag. All you had to do was man up and tell him you love…” Dean interrupted Sam’s rant “Oh, I see so because he couldn’t have me he settled for you in my place”, “maybe Dean, but I loved him for so long I took whatever he was willing to give me unlike you who had all of him and never once gave a single piece of yourself to him”. “Oh is that so Sam”? Dean looked to Cas in complete desperation hoping that he would tell Sam that it was over because his true love had arrived, Cas saw the pleading on Dean’s face as if to say please don’t let it be too late to which Cas simply replied “where was all of this when it mattered, when it could have actually made a difference. I’m sorry Dean, I fell in love with Sam and nothing is going to change that”. Sam looked relieved at Cas’s loyalty and knew without a doubt at that moment it would be him and Cas forever. Sam finally piped up, “I’m sorry Dean, but in a way I’m not, it’s about time because Cas and I were tired of sneaking around for the last 6 months”, Sam and Cas could literally see Dean shut down when he realized how long they had been together, the time frame it took Dean to work up the nerve to kiss Cas, Sam and Cas had fallen in love, 6 months Dean kept claiming he was going to make his move, get Cas back, the sudden realization of why they would be gone for hours, doing things that Dean wished to do, the odd behavior and the weird noises in the middle of the night, the pain when Dean realized all the flirting and pining he had done over those 6 months wouldn’t have made a damn bit of difference because it was already too late. “Look Dean I know it’s not what you want to hear but Cas and I are happy and it would mean the world to have your blessing…” before Sam could finish the sentence Dean simply blurted out “no”, Sam with furrowed brow “no”? “No” Dean repeated, “why should I give you my blessing. So you can be open about your relationship, so you can rub it in my face every day for always… my failure as a man? No, I can’t. And I can’t give up either. I won’t stop until Cas is mine, because that’s how things are cosmically supposed to be. It was always supposed to be Cas and I. Cas, I will win you back I promise if I have to spend every waking moment for the rest of my natural life I will not give up on you. I can’t” Dean declared with tears in his eyes. Cas while he admired Dean’s determination he knew it would lead to heartache and pain. “Dean please, if you ever loved me, let me be happy” Cas pleaded. Dean nodded “I know about you guys, just have respect and don’t rub it in my face and Sam I’m sorry but I will be doing everything in my power to end this and proclaim what rightfully belongs to me”. Cas wasn’t a piece of property but damn if it wasn’t hot being seen as one and damn if it wasn’t hotter seeing the Winchester brothers fighting over him. Sam agreed to not rub it in his brother’s face and when it came to stealing Cas to make everything right with the world Sam didn’t feel like it was an appropriate time to argue and simply said “please don’t get your hopes up, I don’t want to see you hurt anymore then this”.

Dean, Sam and Cas headed back to the bunker where Mary was waiting obvious restless in anticipation and eager for their return, probably another case. Mary knew something was off right out of the gate seeing as Dean pushed right past her to his room where he promptly slammed the door. “What’s going on with Dean”? She prodded. Sam and Cas sort of just rolled their eyes, stared at the floor, looked up to the ceiling doing anything to avoid eye contact with Mary because as mom she would be able to answer her own question simply by looking at her boys. “Cas” she finally said breaking the awkward silence “aren’t you going to go talk to him”?, to which Cas had no valid response. Sam to the rescue tries to explain “Dean is just tired and grumpy, that’s all. It was a rough case and I think he just needs to sleep it off” and in accordance and agreement Cas responds “yea, I don’t want to disturb him right now. Anyways, what brings you to the bunker Mary”? Mary however isn’t buying what those two are selling but nonetheless gets to the point of her unexpected visit. “I have a case, in Grand Haven Michigan and I could use a hand. I have a few other hunters on deck but we could really use you guys, especially Cas. We think we may be up against an entire werewolf pack. I mean one werewolf alone is difficult enough for two hunters, strong little bastards but a whole pack? We got word that people were turning up without hearts by the boat load. And by the way, whatever this is with Dean… fix it, and fast, I don’t need my boys distracted. I don’t know what happened between the three of you or why Cas isn’t up Dean’s ass literally and or figuratively but if you kids had a fight or whatever sack up and deal. We’re heading out Thursday morning, that gives you boys two days to get your shit together. I’ll text you when I’m on my way Thursday, just be ready and we’ll take the impala out to Michigan. By Thursday I’ll have the time and place we’re meeting with the other hunters”. Mary abruptly exits the bunker with a scowl on her face. 

Cas and Sam are completely freaking out because it was all coming to light, just as Tanaraq had predicted. They came out to Dean, and Mary who accepted Cas as a son-in-law already because of Dean was going to be floored when she realizes Dean’s own brother betrayed him by stealing his sweetheart/best friend, Sam realizes she is probably going to be so disappointed because she raised her boys better then that. That family was the heart of everything and nothing should come between that. The gravity of the situation was hitting them and they had not a clue and even fewer answers. They looked at each other thinking “what did we do”? They were relieved with one small silver lining… they had at least two days to figure it out.

For the time though, they decided to put all this in the back of their minds and enjoy the fact that they had at least two days. They decided it would be easier if they slinked off to a hotel for those two days. They went to Dean informing him of the case first, then Sam and Cas hit Dean with the fact that they would take off until Mary came back. Dean obviously despondent by the news, his imagination running wild with wretched thoughts of all the things Cas would be doing with his brother instead of him, the unfairness of it all. Just because he didn’t jump into action, everyone blaming him for taking too damn long deciding, keeping Cas in the dark, and what hurt Dean most of all, was the fact that he knew they were right. If only he had been a little faster on the trigger… Dean was convinced of all the things he battled in his lifetime, his one true downfall would be the what ifs concerning Cas… what if was going to lead to the unraveling of his sanity. Dean wanted to stop them, wanted to keep them from leaving. He wanted to forbid them, but he couldn’t stop them without it getting physical and that would hurt Cas which he couldn’t let himself do, not if he was going to seriously undertake the task of winning Cas back. Stop hurting Cas was step one. Instead Dean played it cool telling Sam and Cas “I would appreciate that, it still stings, but um, of course you two crazy kids have fun” this blatant fallacy was followed by a forced grin which was more of a grimace but at least Dean was trying. Sam and Cas furrowed their brows and were taken aback by Dean’s demeanor. They each packed a bag quietly and snuck out with barely a good-bye to Dean fearing another awkward encounter.


	3. 50 Shades Of Sastiel

Once Sam and Cas left the bunker while still uneasy sort of slumped in Cas’s car with a resounding relief, if only for two days they could have some privacy, distracting each other until the inevitable show down with Mary Winchester. So they decided to have as much fun as possible, Sam actually booked a honeymoon sweet in a swanky hotel in a neighboring town, far enough away but not too far. It was in a nice area that had nightlife, restaurants and an active gay community, where Sam and Cas could finally be a like a real couple, they relished the idea and for a time they were actually happy and excited. It did seem to take some of the pressure off now that Dean knew and they hoped with time he would forgive them and be able to move on. They hoped that Mary wouldn’t be too pissed and accept the situation. Sam hoped he didn’t hurt Dean too bad or disappoint his mom, Cas hoped that Dean wasn’t as hell bent and determined as he claimed to win him back, it would make things easier on everyone if Dean could just meet someone else and find his own blessed happiness. As for now, Sam and Cas decided to party like it was 2099. 

They checked into their room at about 3 pm and settled in, unpacking and nesting in their two day residence. The room was beautiful, a California king with fluffy white bedding and sheets that were patterned with little red and gold glittery hearts, there was a large red heart decorative pillow and rose petals. There was a chilling bottle of champagne and two glasses, and beside that a tray of chocolate covered strawberries. There was a large heart shaped hot tub with bubbles warming, the smell of lilacs filling the room. The room was light and airy in stark contrast to their shadowy affair. It was so nice being out and in the light, not having to shamefully hide between stolen kisses and flea bag motel encounters. Sam looked over to the nightstand and saw a menu for room service “you hungry Cas?” “yes but not for food” Cas gave Sam a devilish grin. It was so nice, for the first time they felt like a real couple, instead of seedy men rutting against each other in dark alleys. For the first time in the 6 months they had been dating, they felt free to be themselves, happy and openly expressive of their love, it was beautiful. 

Sam and Cas start ripping their clothes off like horny teenagers laughing and playing. They decided to rinse off in the shower before grabbing the champagne and strawberries and jumping in the hot tub. They walked into the shower, it was light grey marble with multiple shower heads at different angles, they were already scheming up devious ways of using the shower heads to their advantage. They stepped into the shower, and within seconds Sam was up against the wall kissing Cas. Cas lathered Sam up with the fancy little bar of soap he found there. It smelled like cocoa butter and sage, and it was intoxicating, then Sam returned the favor taking time to stroke Cas’s cock with his soapy hand. Cas went to remove one of the shower heads as he was heading down on his knees, Cas was the sub and he knew his place. Sam grabbed Cas’s hair and pulled his face back from his semi erect cock, at the same time pushing Cas’s hand away from the shower head. “Oh, I’m not going to let you go that easy, no you’re going to have to earn the privilege to blow me” “what do I have to do? Tell me anything please.” Sam got off on seeing the desperation on Cas’s face while he was on his knees “Will you submit to me Cas”? “yes” came Cas’s breathy reply “will you do anything for it Cas”? Sam was being bold and dominant and it drove Cas to the point of madness “yes” “say it damn it… be a good bitch and say you’ll do anything” “I’ll do anything” “you’ll do anything what”? Cas looked perplexed. Sam pulled Cas up and pushed him up against the wall, face buried in the marble back to Sam. Sam slapped Cas’s ass “you’ll do anything what”? Sam repeated, “I don’t… I’ll do anything”, Cas mutters not sure of what to say. Sam again slapped Cas’s ass “who am I”? “Sam… I’ll do anything Sam” Sam slapped Cas’s ass again “wrong answer you disobedient bitch. I’m your master”. Cas sported a raging hard on as it had pressure being applied to it between the marble and his stomach, Cas was whimpering “I’ll do anything master, I’ll do anything” “will you now”? Sam replied, “yes, anything master” Sam gloating at the victory. “Beg me, say master please let me suck your cock, beg for the honor” “master, please, Oh God please let me suck you, please” “why do you want it so bad huh”? “I want to feel your hard cock hitting the back of my throat, I want to taste you, all of you” “you want to gag on your master’s cock”? Sam slapped Cas’s ass again “yes please, please let me gag on your huge cock” this wasn’t flattery Sam was well endowed, he was generally a big guy, all his muscles exuded masculinity. “One more question baby” “yes master”? Cas eager to get to work. Sam without any warning shoved two fingers in Cas’s ass, pumping them in and out, purposely hitting Cas’s prostate just to hear Cas scream “who does this belong to Cas”? “You Sammy, only you” Sam pulled his fingers out leaving Cas’s legs shaking, “good, that’s good, what I wanted to hear Cas” Sam teased Cas’s hole with the head of his swollen penis “that’s good because you feel this baby”? “Yes” “you know who this cock belongs to don’t you” “yes” which seemed the only thing Cas could pant out, “this cock is yours baby” Sam leaned in closer, Cas could feel Sam’s breath on his neck “you know I love you right baby”? “yes” Cas howled almost in tears. Sam decided to have a little fun taking Cas’s idea with the shower head. Sam adjusted the showerhead so it was that one, hard stream, he spread Cas exposing his hole, and shot Cas up with water. It filled Cas up like it was cum, he moved his ass in a slow rhythm like he was being fucked, the water filled him up and it even tickled his prostate making him passionately desperate to get fucked. Sam then adjusted the showerhead again so water came out through all the holes in rings with a fairly firm pressure. Sam wrapped his arm around Cas letting the water hit Cas’s twitching cock. It was like having 100 wet fingers stroking him, he was so desperate to cum. Sam put the shower head back and traded places with Cas, now it was Sam’s back against the wall trying to hold Cas steady, both their entire bodies a bundle of raw nerves, “you look shaky Cas, why don’t you get down on your knees and relax”. Cas did as he was ordered to, shakily falling to his knees ready to consume Sam. Cas started out by licking up and down Sam’s shaft, the water falling on his head making it somewhat difficult to breathe. Cas tried to angle his head down to keep water from going down his throat and or up his nostrils. Cas licked Sam up and down, tonguing Sam’s slit, teasing, playfully until Sam looked down at Cas with intensely fierce eyes “suck it” was all Sam said, and Cas obeyed. It took Cas a minute to loosen his throat, holding the base of Sam’s cock while he gently, took an inch, then another, then another and so on until he had Sam down to the base. Cas could barely breathe but it made the arousal that much greater, literally choking on his lover… hell of a happy way to go though. Sam looked down at Cas watching him slurp him down. “I’m not going to be easy on you baby, I want to fuck your mouth so hard. I’m going to cum all over your face. Be a dirty little slut for me Cas” Cas nodded stupidly and then just as Sam promised, he grabbed Cas’s head, one hand on each side to get a good grip, then violently thrust himself in and out of Cas’s mouth. All Cas could do was grab Sam’s ass for leverage and hold on desperately trying to breathe, being smothered by Sam’s cock and the water. “While your hands are back their baby, use your fingers, find that sweet spot” Cas again did as he was commanded to do, and using the water as lube shoved the whole of his middle finger up into Sam searching for that little knot of nerves. “ahh, ugh” Sam trembled out so Cas knew he was there. It only took a little maneuvering on Cas’s part before Sam pulled Cas’s mouth off of his cock, Cas gasped as he could finally breathe as Sam jerked himself hard cuming all over Cas. “Oh, that’s it, ugh” Sam grunted and his hips hitched, his legs shaking as he stroked out the last of the orgasm. Sam pulled Cas up to his feet and kissed him gently, so gently. Sam halfway panting halfway laughing looked at Cas and asked “was it good for you”? Cas was too exasperated and flustered by not being allowed to orgasm yet, to respond but eventually after a few seconds simply said “a little rough”. Sam had a look of horror on his face, “oh baby I am so sorry, I don’t know what came over me. Just seeing you on your knees brought all types of kink to mind and I guess I just lost it. I am so sorry baby did I hurt you”? Cas smiled at the honest remorse in Sam’s eyes, the look of pain on Sam’s guilt ridden face, Cas felt guilty his response hurt his lover so. But the truth was Sam didn’t let Cas finish his statement and Cas let Sam know as such “you didn’t let me finish Sam, it was a little rough, but I did enjoy it” Cas’s eyes glinted and a wicked smile landed on his face. This spurned Sam on and he was already rock hard again. Sam turned off the shower and turned on his ‘obey your master’ voice ordering Cas to go wait in the hot tub. Cas again did as he was told and flustered wobbled gracelessly to the hot tub. Sam said “I’ll be right back, I want to have some fun with you” Sam’s smile made Cas both uneasy and totally aroused. “While I’m doing what I’m doing out here, I want you to stroke yourself… no orgasm, I just want to keep the motor running until I get back” Sam winked. Sam didn’t join Cas until about 15 minutes later when there was a knock on their door. Sam popped in on Cas, still stroking himself and simply commanded “wait here and don’t stop” at which point Sam looked down at Cas’s hand movement with a raised eyebrow, again Cas obeyed. Cas could hear trolleys rolling in, it sounded like more then one. After a brief thanks and Sam rustling in his wallet for tip money he dismissed the delivery person and shut the door. Cas was ultimately curious about this commotion but as he was ordered to stay put, he didn’t move. Sam rolled in with three trolleys and seven bottles of champagne, a tray of chocolate covered strawberries and a large bowl of whip cream. He then left and came back again this time with a small, black duffle bag. Sam opened said bag and started placing things on available spaces on the carts. He looked like a doctor setting up for surgery but no, this was a different type of probing. Cas couldn’t quite make out what Sam was pulling out but from what he could see, there was something that resembled a feather duster, a thin stick with a square tip, and a thick leather thing with what looked like a red ball in the center. Cas’s curiosity was peaked but he was really nervous. “Sam, what do you have there”? Cas asked tentatively. Sam simply said “toys” with a wild grin on his face. “Cas I think we can trust each other completely right?” “Of course Sam” “good because I want to try new things, experience new sensations, I want to play Cas, and I only trust you to play with”. Cas actually felt in trepidation but also he was honored that his lover trusts him with this intimate bit of knowledge, after all telling someone you love you want to try new kink might send said lover running to the hills. But not Cas, all he wanted to do was please Sam and seeing the enthusiasm on Sam’s face made Cas want to “play” too. “I am very excited about this Sam” Cas stated in his very matter of fact way. “Are you sure Cas”? “Sam I trust you completely and I would love to see what you have in store for your good little servant” Sam spurred on opened a bottle of champagne and handed it to Cas, “I know your tolerance and I want you good and open and willing”, Cas obliges and downs the whole bottle in one sip, then Cas downs another bottle, then a third while Sam was polishing off one. They play in the hot tub, they fondle and kiss. They spur each other on. Sam finally acknowledging Cas hasn’t orgasmed yet, decides to put Cas out of his misery and alleviate his swollen, blue balls. Sam reached up to one of the trolleys to grab something but he doesn’t show Cas what it was, he just turns and evilly stared at Cas. “do you trust me Cas”? “Of course Sam” “good, I want you to do something for me, I want you to kneel grabbing the side of the hut tub exposing your ass up in the air, then close your eyes.” Cas nervously moved into the position as Sam commanded and then closed his eyes. Cas could feel the water slosh as Sam made his way over to Cas. Sam had in his hand this thick, veiny, purple vibrator with an arm that looked like a cactus in the way it had a slight U bend. On the top of the arm was a pad that looked like a thumb and it had a bumpy pattern on it. At the bass were three rings of pearls that circularly rotated while the vibrator itself not only had vibration patterns and speeds, it also extended up and down. Oh Sam was going to have a lot of fun with Cas using this. Sam got behind Cas, “just take a deep breath baby” which Cas did. Cas felt something breach him but he had no idea what. It didn’t feel like Sam, no this felt stiff and rubbery. He felt something else go between his legs resting halfway up his cock. Sam saw that this thing had dials and such and settled on turn everything on full volume. When the vibration started, Cas quickly opened his eyes. He felt this thing inside him, moving up and down and a little pressure from Sam manually also pushing it in and out. Sam pushed all the way in and Cas made an indefinable noise. Cas felt something bumpy circling around his hole while the thing resting on his hard cock fluttered wildly, but it was the heavy vibration that mad Cas roll his eyes into the back of his head. “Ugh! Aah! Aah!” Cas grunted “Oh shit Sam! Sam!!” he screamed desperately “Ugh! Aah! I’m cuming! Oh fuck! Oh fuck! I’m cuming! Sam! Sa-am! Ahh”! Cas’s voice echoed in the marble room, Sam’s ears were vibrating. Sam grabbed Cas by the back of the neck and thrust the vibrator up into Cas with all his might and using hard and heavy thrusts to finish Cas off, there was a light red tinge in the water around Cas’s ass. Cas flopped over the edge of the hot tub shaking hard, nauseous because he felt it in his stomach, hyperventilating and crying. Sam pulled Cas into the tub and wrapped an arm around him, holding him close and soothing him. Cas healed himself because he knew he got torn apart, literally. Sam moved Cas closer shifting himself so he could put Cas between his legs so Cas could lean back and relax, Cas was still shaking and sobbing. Sam put one arm around Cas’s middle and the other hand Sam used to stroke Cas’s hair, Sam kissed the side of Cas’s face and whispered “shh, shh honey you did so good” Sam grabs Cas’s chin and turns Cas’s head so Sam can get a look at the beautiful, broken angel then he leans in and passionately kisses Cas. Sam then rests his face on Cas’s still holding him and stroking his hair “so good baby, you took it so good”. “What the hell was that Sam”? “Come here, it’s Ok Cas you’re Ok, I’m sorry you were hurt, but I had to test you, to answer your question, that was rough sex and believe me, it can get a whole lot rougher, you have such a high thresh hold, that means you can take a lot, that’s good, that turns me on” it took Cas a while to calm down but after Cas downed the fourth bottle of champagne, he seemed Ok, now he wanted to play a game… how long can you hold your breath. Sam and Cas both took turns diving under the water seeing how long they could blow each other before they had to come of for air, a game Cas obviously won, his prize was a mouthful of cum. Next Sam grabbed the strawberries, the chocolate was melty from the steam of the hot tub. Sam rubbed the chocolate around Cas’s nipples and then sucked it off causing Cas to make a very erotic hissing sound. Sam continued this while fingering Cas’s hole tickling Cas’s prostate but not letting Cas cum, no not yet. Sam moved to the whip cream next, taking a gob on his finger and giving it to Cas to lick off, but before Cas could swallow Sam kissed Cas savoring the sweet taste of it, “mmm, creamy center” Sam joked. They laid in each others arms in the hot tub, being all goofy until Cas got serious… and drunk, and started stroking Sam. Sam grabbed the last bottle of champagne, Cas already downing four and Sam downing two. “Sam, believe me, I am pliable right now”, “I’ll be the judge of that Cas” Sam smiled and tipped the bottle up basically pouring it down Cas’s throat. Cas seized the bottle from Sam and began performing mock fellatio on the neck, Sam was insanely hard, then to simulate the orgasm Cas swallowed the rest of the liquid down. Sam and Cas must have been in the hot tub an hour just enjoying each other but they noticed they were starting to get wrinkly, prune like from the water. Sam stood up and reached for Cas’s hand. Cas gave his hand to Sam and Sam a gentleman as always stepped out of the tub then helped Cas out who was definitely buzzed considering the fact that he was stumbling a bit. Sam the romantic as always shined through first taking a towel and drying Cas down then he lifted Cas in his arms like a blushing bride and carried him to the bed where he gently placed Cas down. Sam got up to dry himself off and wheel over the trolley of toys. Sam stared at the kinky delights splayed before him trying to figure out which one to settle on first. He looked at Cas and suddenly he melted, the early evening sun beaming around Cas making him look beautifully angelic, the alcohol made Cas’s eyes hooded with a delicious grin on his face. “You want to take a nap Cas”? Sam inquired to which Cas replied “not on your life baby”. Sam was so taken aback by Cas’s divine beauty he couldn’t help but lean in and kiss him, softly, gently. That’s what Sam settled on, he wanted to go slow with Cas at first then work their way up to the nasty. Sam just really wanted to ease into it and savor every experiment from here on out acknowledging the vibrator might have been brought out too soon. “Turn onto your stomach Cas” and Cas flipped over lazily. “Relax and enjoy this baby”, Cas was giddy with anticipation not knowing what to expect. Sam started with some oil that warmed when you rubbed your hands together. It had a light and intoxicating floral scent of tuberose. Sam started with an erotic massage, not what Cas was expecting but it was lovely. Sam’s hands finding places in Cas’s back he didn’t even knew hurt making him moan. After about 20 minutes Sam said “turn on your back now baby” which Cas did as Sam spent another 15 minutes massaging Cas’s front. When Sam was finished Cas reached for the oil to return the favor but Sam pulled the oil out of reach from Cas “this is all about you baby, I just want to pamper you, make you feel so good”. Cas’s heart literally skipped a beat, romantic Sam was one of Cas’s favorite hats. Sam laid next to Cas, he dipped the chocolate covered strawberries into the whipped cream and fed them to Cas, with every bite Cas took, Sam stole a kiss, licking the remnants off Cas’s lips. Sam moved down on Cas, all the way down taking in a mouthful of whipped cream and gently blowing Cas enjoying both the sweet and savory mixture of whip cream and pre cum. Cas’s eyes started to roll into the back of his head from the pure ecstasy. But Sam didn’t stop there, he reached over to the table for this little black rubber thing that Cas had never seen before but given the shape he could figure out where it was about to go. Sam gently pushed the butt plug in slowly thrusting it. Within a matter of moments, Cas was squealing “Sam, I’m going to… I’m going to” but before Cas could Sam halted “not yet baby, be patient, I’ll get you there… eventually” this made Cas make a very unattractive grunt to which Sam simply smiled. “Cas can I try something a little heavier”? “yes Sam anything as long as you’re touching me” Cas could see the spark in Sam’s eyes. Sam grabbed a familiar pair of handcuffs, the pentacle ones which could bind Cas every way possible, to which Cas’s response was a twitching, throbbing cock, aroused by the notion of being made completely vulnerable and dominated. Sam hooked Cas up then reached over for the thick leather strap with a red ball in the center which Sam explained was a ball gag, Cas without resistance of any kind opened his mouth and let Sam hook it on. Next Sam had a thick plush and leather collar with a ring in it which he fixed around Cas’s neck, “just so you remember who owns your ass” Sam purred. Finally Sam grabbed a blindfold and again Cas lifted his head so Sam could secure it. Sam gently flipped Cas back on his stomach. Cas heard a squelching noise but couldn’t see what it was. “Cas, I have this stuff called cherry sucker, it’s a lube that tastes like cherries, I’m going to experiment on you” Cas was already making muffled moans before Sam even started whatever he was about to do. Sam rubbed the lube into Cas’s hole then dived his tongue in rimming Cas. Sam grabbed Cas’s ass moving him up and down on his tongue plus allowing the friction of Cas’s cock to rock between his oiled stomach and the sheets intensifying the experience. This was new to both of them, they had sex plenty of times but due to time restraints they never had a chance to really explore each other. Cas was in absolute bliss, he had never had these sensations before, Sam’s tongue was just long enough to hit Cas’s g spot. Sam was simply big everywhere especially where it counted. Sam stopped only for a brief moment to say “cum on my tongue baby, I want to eat you out until you cum, can you do that for me Cas”? Cas’s response was muffled but he did manage to nod his head. Sam continued shoving his tongue all the way in focusing on that sweet spot. Within a matter of minutes Cas was weeping and squealing cuming all over himself, ass clenching on Sam’s tongue. Sam gave it a few extra minutes working Cas through one of the most intense orgasms he has ever had in his life. “Cas baby? Can I take it one step further”? Cas barely there, seeing black spots in his eyes and ears feeling like they were under water stupidly nodded. Sam grabbed the butt plug and pushed it all the way in to Cas making Cas twitch with both pain and pleasure. Cas could only hear the rustling but had no idea what Sam was going to do next. The only thing Cas heard next was the wind whipping, Sam had grabbed the thin stick with a square tip... aka a riding crop. He rubbed the leather on Cas’s ass then whipped lightly making a soft smacking sound which made Cas flinch but it was more startling then anything else. Sam continued the pattern, first rubbing Cas’s ass then smacking it. The sensation was only intensified by the butt plug nestled in Cas’s hole adding pressure to his prostate. Sam moved the riding crop over the butt plug now, he would rub Cas’s ass then smack the butt plug jerking it inside Cas. The more Cas moaned the harder Sam went. Finally the butt plug was being pounded into the right spot through the furious slapping of the riding crop and Cas’s cock still between the mattress and his oiled stomach making friction possible couldn’t take it anymore and lost control orgasming again. Sam smiled, “ooh you like it when I get kinky don’t you?” Cas could only hum in agreement. Sam took the ball gag off of Cas “I want to hear you loud and clear, I want you to call my name as you cum. Believe me sweetheart, I’m not done with you yet, not by a long shot”, Cas could feel himself getting erect… again. The next thing Cas felt was on his back, it was leather and it felt like it had a hundred slender strands, “this is called a flogger” Sam explained. Again Sam would start by slowly dragging the flogger across Cas’s back then backside then legs. It tickled but in an erotic way. Then Sam would gently whip Cas with it, Sam had to maintain control because he wanted nothing more then to completely lose it wildly caught up in the moment. Sam did this for a good long while repeating the same pattern tickling then whipping which sent Cas’s body into a whirlwind of eroticism. Sam then removed the blindfold but not the cuffs and turned Cas onto his back, Sam repeated the pattern with the flogger on Cas’s chest and cock. Cas found his hips hitching towards the sensation of the whip’s gentle touch. “What do you want me to do Cas” Cas knew the answer Sam was looking for “fuck me, oh please I want you inside me, I need you inside me. Please give it to me Sam, fuck me, please fuck me”, Sam looked down seemingly pleased with the response. Sam grabbed one more thing, it was a bottle of KY lube, it was one of those sensation ones, he had one that was Fire and one that was Ice, Ice being the one he chose. “This should cool your swollen hole” as Sam lubed himself up. First thing Sam did, was help Cas up to kneel, Sam grabbed the riding crop then laid on his back motioning for Cas to straddle him, but not face to face rather Cas’s back would be to Sam in a backwards cowgirl position. Sam stroked his cock then he helped Cas sit on it. At first Sam used Cas’s hips as leverage, pounding Cas at an angle that would make quick work of Cas. Then Sam said “ride it Cas” and Cas thrust himself up and down with cuffed hands. “Stroke yourself baby” which Cas began to do. Sam could feel how close his lover was, so he picked up the riding crop and started spanking Cas as he got closer to climaxing. Cas leaned forward as he was cuming, pushing at angle that made Sam whimper. To Cas’s amazement, Sam still hadn’t cum and was still rock hard and he knew he was in for it. Next position, Sam took Cas from behind, hitching Cas’s cuffed hands to the bed post elevating Cas so he and Sam were almost chest to back. Sam uses the feather duster looking thing on Cas’s balls and cock, so gentle in comparison to the hard pounding Cas is getting sending shivers over his body. Sam grabs Cas’s collar and Sam rides him harder. Caught up in the moment, Sam throws the feather down and goes for the flogger whipping and stinging Cas’s skin. Cas’s body swelling from the hurt Sam laid on him, marks starting to surface, and his breath is labored. Sam sensing Cas needs a cool down period, he pulls out abruptly and unhitches Cas from the bed post and lays Cas on his back. Sam puts Cas’s cuffed hands around his neck, “good now I can hear you AND see you. I want you to keep looking in my eyes. Don’t close them, don’t look away focus solely on me baby. I want to watch you”, Cas again nodded in compliance. Sam gently thrust into Cas, deep, so deep and the Ice sensation from the lube was taking effect. It was cool, but also so stimulating, for both of them which was obvious by the moaning, hissing, humming and grunting, they were doing. Sam knew he wasn’t going to last long at this rate because he was beyond aroused by the things Cas let him play out on him, plus the lube was heightening every stroke. “You gonna cum baby”? “Yes Sam! Yes! Oh Sam! Oh Sam! ” Cas called out desperately. The second Sam felt Cas tighten he came inside Cas, filling him up, the orgasm was intense, so intense. They came looking deep into each others eyes both seeing the ecstasy within each other, even as Sam worked them through their simultaneous orgasms they never turned away from each other, all their focus on one another which intensified their passions more then anything else, they never lost eye contact. When they were finished, Sam passionately kissed Cas and smiled against Cas’s lips, Sam leaned in to Cas’s ear “I am so in love with you baby” and Cas almost climaxed again. Sam took off the cuffs so Cas could relax. Then Sam and Cas laid curled up in each other’s arms, so lovingly, goofy, intoxicated from the alcohol and sex, so in love. 

Sam started having a fantasy which brought his cock alive again. He couldn’t get enough of Cas and even though they had fore played and fucked for 3 hours, it didn’t stop Sam from mauling Cas.. again. Since the cuffs were off Cas he could go another round because he could heal himself and Sam so they weren’t so sensitive. Once the soreness and aching went away they started kissing and fondling again. So lost in each other, so addicted. “Hey Cas”? Sam’s voice was nervous, anxious which was odd to Cas as Sam was always so dominant and confident, plus how could Sam be nervous after what they shared? “Sam, don’t be shy now, tell me what you want”, “Ok” Sam decided to just blurt it out “I want you to fuck me” Cas was shocked and aroused “you want me inside you Sam”? Cas needed to verify the information “yes Cas, I want to feel you inside me, fucking me, filling me, I want you to take the reigns for once, I want you to be my first, last and only”. Cas’s wicked smile showed his total approval of this new development. “How do you want me to fuck you baby”? “I want you to completely dominate me, I want to submit to you” “with pleasure”. Cas didn’t quite know what he was doing but he figured if Sam could improvise, so could he. Cas started by following Sam’s suit, first he blindfolded Sam, then he latched the ball gag into Sam’s mouth, last the collar. Sam let Cas completely take control bending him like Gumby anyway Cas wanted him. “Turn on your stomach Sam” Sam flipped over, “now kneel” Sam was on his knees, Cas took Sam’s arms and handcuffed them behind his back. Cas then pushed Sam’s head down into the pillow. Cas looked at the toys seeing what he wanted to try first. He started with the riding crop mimicking Sam’s pattern, tickling then whacking making Sam hum. This was fun but Cas knew he could be more creative then that. Cas moved on to the flogger, again tickling then swatting however Cas chose remind Sam that he was still an angel, and that the things that transpired happened only because he allowed it. Cas whips Sam harder, stinging Sam’s flesh, but he didn’t seem to mind “you Ok baby”? All Sam could do was pant and nod. Cas decided to cool the stinging by making a line of whip cream up Sam’s spine which Cas got to work on quickly lapping it up, the feeling of Cas’s tongue up and down his spine made Sam sweat so good. Cas decided he needed to fuck Sam so badly his cock ached for it. Cas started off slow, rimming Sam until Sam was almost hyperventilating, his breathing was so heavy. Next Cas used the butt plug on Sam, tenderly moving it in and out, Sam sweating and almost crying from the sheer bliss of the sensation. Based on Sam’s breathing Cas could tell Sam was close. Cas lubed his fingers up with the Fire lube and used two fingers to scissor Sam with one hand, the other reached around and gently stroked Sam until Cas’s hand was sticky from pre cum “that’s it baby are your close” Sam nodded breathlessly. There was only one thing left, now that Sam was good and loosened up, Cas having already lubed Sam up with Fire which gave Sam a pleasurable warm sensation set his sights on the Ice thinking the combination would have an interesting effect. But wait, Cas didn’t want to fuck Sam yet, he wanted to drive Sam to the point of complete loss of control. Cas decided to flip Sam over on his back, swallowing Sam in his mouth. Sam rutted his hips and moaned loudly through the ball gag. Cas wanted to play some more so he turned his attention to the feather which Cas rubbed softly up and down Sam’s shaft, Sam turned his head into the pillow beads of sweat dripping off of him. After a few minutes Cas grabbed the flogger and began whipping Sam’s chest and then let it fall around Sam’s cock which started to twitch as if it was about to spew everywhere, Cas watching pre cum dribble down which Cas licked up. Sam was panting and huffing his whole body engulfed with numbing fire. “You want me to fuck you baby” Sam nodded furiously, “You want my cock to fill you up”? again Sam nodded. “Well I don’t know I don’t think you’re turned on enough”, Sam while muffled was moaning in a pleading tone “Oh are you begging me for my cock Sam”? Sam nodded like a bobble head barely holding it together. Cas flipped Sam on his stomach, grabbed the Ice lube and slicked his cock. To make matters more intense, he grabbed the flogger and wrapped it around Sam’s neck pulling Sam’s body upward and then he pushed slowly into Sam. He thought of the damage he could do, revenge for the vibrator but then Cas remembered, Sam is only human and a virgin... no Cas was going to take good care of Sam instead. Sam was crying underneath the ball gag. Part pain, part pleasure, it hurt so good. Cas was slow and sensitive with Sam each stroke Cas pulled almost all the way out then thrust back it. The combination of fire and ice made Sam and Cas hot and cold inside out again increasing the intensity. With each stroke heightening towards an orgasm Cas would clench the flogger around Sam’s neck a little tighter. Then Cas buried his cock into Sam’s ass up to his balls and stayed deep inside gently pumping rather then pounding in and out. Cas knew he hit that place because Sam was shaking like a leaf and it spurred Cas on. Then it finally happened, Sam moaned louder, louder, louder until he was screaming under the ball gag, Cas knew Sam was cuming not just because he felt it, he saw cum shooting out of Sam like a water canon. Sam’s breathing eased as his head fell forward hanging over the flogger closing his eyes. Cas gently placed Sam face down on the pillow and removed the flogger from around Sam’s neck. Cas checked in with Sam to make sure he didn’t completely lose consciousness. Sam was light headed and lazy but he seemed to respond to Cas. Cas removed the ball gag to illicit a response “did you cum hard for me baby”? Cas asked already knowing the answer, all Sam could get out was “I’ve never cum like that before”, “well let’s see if we can get you there again” Cas flips Sam over on his back “because you see baby”? Cas starts whipping Sam with his still erect cock then removes Sam’s blindfold to reveal himself “you see because I haven’t cum yet”, Cas decided on maybe a little revenge. Cas waved his hand over Sam easing his aching ass making sure he’s ready for round two. Cas decides to let Sam out of the handcuffs allowing Sam to fall around Cas. Cas kneels stroking his own sensitive cock. Sam just looks at Cas as if to say holy shit. “you want me to fuck you again Sam? Or do you want to go slow, make love to you, make you feel every inch”? Sam doesn’t think he can take another pounding so tearfully Sam says “please Cas make love to me” Cas is taken aback by Sam’s expression “do you want me to stop”? “Don’t you dare” Sam replies. Cas eases himself back into Sam, slow and deep. Sam wincing with every inch he takes but he can handle it, it feels too good to stop. Cas strokes gently into Sam for what seems like days, every time he or Sam is about to Cum Cas teases and pulls out until Sam is writhing and unraveling under Cas. “Now it’s your turn to beg Sam, what do you want”? “I want to cum, please Cas I’m begging you, please let me cum on your cock. I want you to cum too Cas, I want you to fill me up so completely, please”. “Stroke your cock Sam” and Sam does as Cas hits Sam’s prostate. Sam’s breathing intensifies, his head is spinning and then…. There it is. “Oh Cas! Cas!” “Sam, yes Sam” Cas gracelessly pounds away losing all control as they are both cuming all over the place, grunting and rutting, savoring every sensation, every millisecond of Sam’s second most intense orgasm. It takes them nearly 10 minutes to finish off kissing and thrusting. Cas’s eyes close “aah, ahh” his body shakes then he collapses on Sam. They lay sweating and panting in each other’s arms, neither of them fully aware of how much time has passed, and for the first time they really don’t give a damn… blissful excellence. 

As tired as they were, Sam and Cas heard the night calling them to come out and play. They heard hot Latin dance music and they found themselves awkwardly lumbering the Tango in their room, Cas with a rose in his mouth. They showered and dressed, they got ready to hit the town. Sam donned dark blue genes that had bling on the ass pockets and were so snug that they left nothing to the imagine and a dark blue t-shirt also tight that sported his other bulging muscles. Cas sick and tired of the business hobo trench coat look and wanting to look good for Sam since he knew he was going out representing his man went for a more casual look, also sporting tight genes and a light aqua colored linen shirt that reflected the Caribbean blue color of his eyes. When Cas emerged from the bathroom Sam just stared at how different Cas looked, he looked vibrant and beautiful. Sam could barely contain himself swooping over to kiss Cas. “Sam” Cas giggled, “I can’t help it Cas, your stunning”. Cas was blushing wildly and thinking how good Sam made him feel. Not like how it was with Dean who was ashamed of him, who was too proud to make a move, who for the most part treated him like crap. But he decided to not waste another second on those bad memories, especially when he took a good look at the man who would be sporting him on his arm this evening. Sam grabbed a light leather jacket and one of his infamous floppy winter hats he loved so much, and Cas a dark blue sports jacket. Sam called downstairs and sheepishly asked for someone to come and change out the sheets, hoping they were dry and the poor maid didn’t get a handful of something gooey. They headed out into the evening looking for adventure… a different kind then the adventures they were used to anyway. 

As they walked out of the hotel, they ran into a feathered show girl who they suspected was really a boy. They jeered at the festivities not really knowing what was going on, but they loved it. As they were walking down the street Cas got checked out by a guy which kicked in Sam’s jealous, possessive streak. He held out a hand to Cas and Cas just glared, “you mean out here? In public Sam? Where people can see”? “I want everyone to see the gorgeous man I’m sporting tonight” Sam’s smile brimming and Cas almost in tears, Sam wanted to be seen and acknowledged in public with him… something Dean would have never had the balls to do. Cas put his hand in Sam’s and before he could blink Sam pulled Cas in close and right there in front of God and the world kissed Cas so deep, so passionately that it sent Cas over the edge. Unable to reign in his emotions, Cas started balling right there pressed on Sam’s beautiful lips. “Are you Ok sweetheart”? “I’m just so happy Sam, that’s all, just really happy”. Sam pulled Cas in close and wrapped his arm around Cas’s shoulder, Cas planted his hand in Sam’s back pocket and they strolled into the evening. That night Sam and Cas ate, drank and were merry, they sampled various tapas from different restaurants, they hit a margarita bar and started experimenting with different flavors. When they would get to a club that had music blasting outside they would stop to dance in the streets. They were all smiles and kisses, free and out in public and no one stared and if they did it wasn’t to judge but to “aww” at two people who were obviously in love. Sam and Cas got back to the room at about 4 am exhausted, full and fairly intoxicated. They stripped down and got into bed and slept soundly in each other’s arms for the first time in their relationship. Cas and Sam didn’t stir until about 2 pm the next afternoon. Cas waved his hand over Sam to ease his gnarly, nauseating hangover. “Thanks Cas, much better”, when Sam felt better, he jumped in the shower while Cas got on the phone to order two pitchers of mimosas and a light fruit and whip cream breakfast for two… Cas ordering for two… brilliant. Sam got out of the shower to see the tray and smiled “what’s all this”? Sam asked naked, drying his long thick mane. “I heard a human saying, Dean used to say it all the time a bit of the hair I believe he said”? Cas smiled brilliantly. “Um honey… are you trying to get me drunk again to take advantage of me”? Cas’s smile got even more brilliant. Cas went to brush his teeth and take a shower as Sam laid back in the bed with fresh sheets falling into the down feather bliss. He closed his eyes listening for Cas to finish up and get out of the shower to join him. About 15 minutes later Cas plopped on the bed next to Sam and Sam snuggled into Cas’s shoulder a look of pure elation on his face. They were truly happy Sam and Cas, perfectly happy. This afternoon Cas decided to be the romantic, he tucked Sam’s head onto his chest then handed him a mimosa to which Sam graciously accepted. As Sam was propped on Cas’s chest, Cas fed Sam fruit smothered in whip cream, Cas this time being the one to lick it off Sam’s lips. Ever since yesterday when Sam let Cas be the top, he relished the notion of being able to take turns so sometimes Sam could be all pampered like a kept woman, get in touch with his feminine side. Cas appreciated it too, it was nice to be the top. They felt like in the one day they had all to themselves they learned more about each other then they had in the last six months. After breakfast and a pitcher each of mimosas Sam and Cas settled in to bed lazily kissing, talking, laughing, exploring, learning, loving. Today wasn’t about sex, it was about intimacy. They both drifted off to sleep at some point wrapped in each other’s arms so tightly it was hard to tell where one body started and the other ended.


	4. Heartbreak & Mary Winchester

The serenity was shattered at about 9 pm when Sam was violently started awake, which in turn stirred Cas. They were both trying to adjust to the dim light to see who it was as they rubbed their eyes while looking for a weapon. “It’s me guys… Dean, look I hate to break up the love fest but you have to come back to the bunker”. “Why dude what’s going on”? “it’s mom” “what about her Dean” “I decided to come early so we could leave first light, I figured I would spend the night in the bunker but geez this place is way nicer” “Mary” Cas blurted out followed by Sam “mom, look I can explain” “there’s no need boys Dean filled me in on everything” Sam huffed looking at Dean “really you told on us”? “look mom knew something was up, I just filled in the blanks”. “Cas I’m really disappointed in you” Mary spattered out “what Dean wasn’t moving fast enough so you preyed on my baby?”, “Mary I can explain” “No Cas” Sam piped up “no you don’t have to defend yourself to either one of them. You have no idea what Dean was putting Cas through so don’t stand there all full of yourself without having all the facts. Cas and I are in love and that really is the only fact either one of you need to be concerned with”! Everyone stood mouths agape at Sam’s boldness. “Well Cas… well done not only did you turn Dean against Sam you turned Sam against me” “no mom, that’s not it at all, I’m just not going to let either one of you shit on my boyfriend because things didn’t turn out like any of us expected. You two may not like the situation and that’s fine, I’m not asking either of you to accept it, not right away anyway, but you better damn well respect it or you can hunt on your own, without Cas their to save your asses”! “Sam” Cas interjected “please they’re your family, you can’t talk to them like that. Of course Sam and I would never leave you two to your own devices when you need our help. Sam is right about one thing though, things didn’t turn out as everyone expected, I know everyone thought it was going to be me and Dean but it didn’t work out that way. Sam and I didn’t plan this or look for this it really just happened. And we are both very happy. But Sam you have to give them time to adjust, really their anger is justified”, “I guess you’re right, I just don’t like it when people talk down to you” “I know Sam” Dean piped up “Ok guys come on, I just threw up a little in my mouth. Get dressed and grab your gear, we gotta go”. Dean and Mary exited the suite giving Sam and Cas some privacy as they dressed and got their things together in total defeat and disappointment their time ended so abruptly. They left their suite and headed down to check out while Dean and Mary sat in the impala. Cas and Sam came out and hopped in Cas’s car and they all begrudgingly headed back to the bunker. 

On the way home, Cas and Sam decided it would be best if they slept separately as not to upset anyone. They hated to sleep alone, especially after the last day and three quarters but they didn’t want any hard feeling from anyone. However before they entered the bunker they sat in the driveway waiting for Mary and Dean to go inside before they got into a hot and heavy make-out session, the windows fogged from the heat. They wanted to get each other off before they went in but decided the risk of getting caught was too great. They were saddened by that fact, they had hoped coming out would make it easier but they still had to abide by rules and be concerned about being caught. After about 10 minutes, knowing they had probably already aroused enough suspicion decided to run their fingers through their hair, grab their bags and head inside. They were hopeful they might get away with sharing a private room when they got to Michigan. They stumbled into the bunker sweaty and hair a mess, clothes disheveled. From behind a bottle of scotch Dean grimaced “get a room” “yea, we had one, remember Dean”? Sam shot back, Dean shrugged pouting his bottom lip “mm good point”. “Don’t worry, we’re sleeping in different rooms tonight Dean”. Sam and Cas headed down the hall to their separate rooms. Mary had already settled in for the night and was sound asleep in one of the spare rooms. It wasn’t long before Cas and Sam had followed suit exhausted from the last day and three quarters they had. 

Cas was asleep when he stirred hearing his door squeak open. Lazily Cas said “Sam we shouldn’t what if we get caught plus I’m so tired you wore me out”. The door squeaked shut leaving the room in utter darkness except for a little plug in nightlight by Cas’s head who had settled back into unconsciousness. Cas was stirred again when he felt lips around his cock, licking, sucking and panting. Cas came alive but barely attempting to reach down and grabs Sam’s hair but instead his wrists were met with force as they were pinned down above his head. “Oh Sam” Cas purred, he felt hips grinding against his own rubbing his hard on. “Sam, oh you feel so good baby” Cas’s underwear were pulled off, and before he could catch his breath he was being rimmed with tongue and finger, he was being blown while being fingered. Cas was going crazy “Oh Sam I’m going to cum, ah” his hole was then breached by a big thick cock as Cas fucked himself on to it. Cas’s hands being restrained by the wrists above his head again. Cas was grunting and moaning, it felt so good. Then like a bolt of lightening it hit Cas, the weight on him was lighter, the frame was smaller. Cas jetted his eyes open, there was a face above his, he could barely make out the outline but their was no hair falling into his face and the sudden reality hit him. “Dean” Cas whimpered, “sorry know you were expecting someone else, but I couldn’t resist. You in here all alone and vulnerable. But go ahead lie to yourself, lie to me, … tell me it doesn’t feel amazing” Cas had no words because that was the only way to describe it, amazing. “Just like old times right baby”? Oh, it had been so long since Dean called him that. Cas resisted at first but then slowly, slowly he gave in to Dean. “Let my wrists go” Cas demanded “well that depends on what you’re going to do with your hands” Dean pumping and thrusting hard in to Cas, Cas whimpering, purring. Dean let Cas’s hands go, Cas simply wrapped his arms around Dean’s body, pulling Dean closer, deeper, Cas fucking on the Dean’s cock with desperate want. Cas couldn’t help himself. He forgot what Dean felt like, he realized how much he missed this. “Dean… oh Dean… right there, right there” as Dean hit Cas’s prostate Cas’s cock was being rubbed between their stomachs Cas’s arousal only made Dean thrust harder, faster, deeper Cas squealing unable to contain himself. “I’m cuming Dean, oh right there yea, oh please don’t stop”. Cas exploded all over him and Dean’s chest, a few thrusts more and Cas felt that warm gooey sensation filling him up, Dean thrusting a few more times for good measure grunting like an animal. Dean collapsed onto Cas, kissing him. After Cas came to and his head stopped spinning he was in tears, his emotions wildly conflicted. The only thing he could think was “what have I done”?

Cas stroked Dean’s hair, contemplating how he was going to break it to Dean that this couldn’t happen again. “Dean, I still love and care about you, I really do but I really am in love with Sam. Lying to him is going to kill me so I will have no choice but to be honest with him about what happened here tonight”. Dean’s head cropped up, Cas began to explain what had happened that night with Sam, the way Sam embraced him in public, about how free they were, without a care in the world and it really was the best day and night of Cas’s life. “Dean you could never give me those things, I had waited so long, giving you chance after chance. I mean you couldn’t even admit to me that you love me, I don’t want to be someone’s dirty little secret, I want to be free and loved. I’m sorry Dean, I got caught up in the moment but this will never happen again”. Dean had tears welling up in his eyes “why didn’t you stop me Cas? Hmm?” “Because I knew I couldn’t even if I tried”. “You know what Cas? You are a grade A skank”. “Dean, please don’t be angry” Dean began getting dressed as did Cas, “don’t be angry?! I gave you my virginity”! “Dean keep your voice down” “Oh so your boyfriend doesn’t hear us? You didn’t seem to mind when you were calling my name bitch” Dean getting increasingly louder. “Maybe it’s about time we tell Sam the truth, that he got it backwards about who stole you from who”! Cas knew Sam and Mary would be jolted awake by the argument so he threw on some pajama pants and sweater waiting for the inevitable confrontation. Just as Cas sat on the bed Sam came bursting through the door to see Cas sitting on the bed and Dean standing in the middle of the room. Sam got nose to nose with Dean “why are you starting shit with Cas man, what the hell are you doing in here”? “First of all Sam you better back the fuck down, second I was fucking your boyfriend stupid and I may have started it, but Cas sure as hell finished it”. Dean stormed out of Cas’s room passing Mary in the hall trying to see what all the commotion was, “stay out of it mom, go back to bed”. 

Sam looked at Cas with a look of perplexity and pain, “what was Dean talking about Cas? Please tell me it isn’t true”. Cas only looked down in shame, Sam inhaled and nodded his head running both his hands through his hair. “After everything Cas”? “Sam if you love me give me a chance to explain” Sam sat down beside Cas not thinking anything he could say would fix the damage that had been done “I’m listening Cas, explain away”. Cas was in tears, “I was asleep when I felt someone sucking my dick, I thought it was you I swear I did. I didn’t notice anything unusual until Dean was inside me, I noticed how small the frame was and how when he was fucking me it didn’t feel right. That’s when I fully woke up and realized what was going on. Unfortunately by that time it was too late, we were both so far gone, swept up in the moment that I just let him finish. Oh God Sam I am so sorry, when I realized what was happening I tried to stop it but it was too late. The sick thing is, is I didn’t want to stop it. But it was nothing like what we have. I figured if I let him keep going we could just get it out of our systems and be done with it. I hoped it would set things right. I told Dean it was never going to happen again, I told him about what we did the other night, we were open and happy and I know Dean will never give me that. He will never love me the way you do. Please Sam forgive me, I am so sorry” Cas could barely catch his breath he was sobbing so hard. Sam stood up and stormed off, “Sam”! Cas called after him “Oh God no, what did I do”? At that point Cas heard a door slam figuring it was Sam until he heard Sam exclaim “you son of a bitch”! Cas ran to the noise which was coming from Dean’s room. Cas got there just in time to see Sam haul off and slug Dean. “Sam, no! What are you doing”?! “You tricked Cas? You fucked him while he was sleeping? Knowing he wouldn’t be able to identify you until it was too late”? Cas using all his angelic strength pushed Sam back to keep him from wailing on Dean. “No Sam, you can’t do this, I would sooner leave both of you then see you come to blows”. Sam’s face showed rage and hurt “and you Cas? How can I get over the fact that we lost our ‘virginity’ to each other, we were supposed to be each other’s first, last and only and now… now you’ve ruined it, you’ve been touched by another man”. “Wasn’t the first time” Dean grinned. “What?! You mean you and Dean… before tonight”? “Like rabbits” Dean waggled his eyebrows” “Dean” Cas shouted “stop talking”. Sam looked like his world was crashing around him. “I don’t know how I can trust you or touch you again. You defiled the sanctity of what we had. I need some time here, from both of you” Cas broke down “Sam, I didn’t tell you about Dean because…” Sam interrupted “don’t bother, just get the hell away from me” “of course Sam whatever you need, and whatever I have to do to make this right” Cas retreated back to his room. 

“How could you Dean when you knew we were together”? “How could I? You knew that I was in love with him Sammy! How could you! This is all your fault if you had just left Cas alone…” “so you could pine over him for another 8 years Dean? You never showed this much interest when he was single but now he’s attached to someone all of a sudden your in a gladiator death match trying to get him back? You’re going to fight me? Cas? Mom? The world to get him back? No I should rephrase that because in order to get someone back you would have had to have them in the first place” “who says I didn’t? That crap you bought about it being his first time, wasn’t true. There was a time when Cas and I were sneaking around, but he called it quits when I wouldn’t commit, in reality Sam, you stole Cas from me”! “Dean you could never love Cas or give Cas the things he needs, Cas may have been with you but you never had him, not really”. “How dare you Sam! Look Sammy I know I was a dick, and I wasn’t that great of a friend and a shitty boyfriend to Cas and a shitty brother to you by keeping you in the dark, but I was changing. Cas told me how open you two were and Cas was right I’ll never be that but that doesn’t mean I love him any less” “you are so selfish Dean, like the time you stopped me from doing the trials because you didn’t want to be alone” “are you fucking kidding me Sam? You’re my brother and I wasn’t going to let you die! I did it because I love you”! “Dean if you really loved Cas and I you would put our happiness before your own”. 

Sam and Dean continued arguing meaning they couldn’t hear what was going on in Cas’s room. Cas stormed off to his room and there he was greeted by Mary… and an angel blade to his throat. “I’m giving you one chance angel, I’m going to banish you from this bunker so you can’t fuck with my boy’s heads anymore. Now we can do this the easy way where I give you a chance to get dressed and grab some belongings and you get a credit card with unlimited credit or we do this the hard way where I just slap that sigil on the wall and you go broke and in your pajamas”, being Cas didn’t want to hurt Mary and agreeing she may have a point considering the damage he had done he did what she said. Cas got dressed and packed a bag with some clothes and basic necessities, Mary then handed over the credit card. Cas went to reach for his phone but Mary tsked “no cell phones, I don’t want you having any further contact” Cas put the phone down on the nightstand and nodded. Mary slapped her bloody hand against the sigil and just like that Cas was gone. Mary replaced the bookshelf to cover the sigil, left a note on Cas’s pillow, then set to warding the bunker against angels. 

Sam and Dean continued the argument blissfully unaware that Mary had taken care of the situation once and for all. Sam and Dean argued back and forth until the scotch had them slurring their points and their voices were horse. They called it a draw and went to bed since they had an early morning.


	5. The Case Of The Missing Angel

When the alarms started going off, Sam and Dean set to getting ready, shit, shower, shave, packing. Sam and Dean were in the kitchen drinking coffee for about 15 minutes waiting for Cas. “Hey Sammy why don’t you go check on sunshine and make sure everything is Ok. “Yup” Sam replied. Sam went to check on Cas, as he walked to Cas’s room Sam pondered on all the things that needed to be said and done to begin to repair their fractured relationship which Sam decided to work on because he loved Cas too damn much and the situation wasn’t entirely his fault. Sam was going to salvage their relationship and even considered proposing to strengthen their relationship. Sam knocked on Cas’s door, “hey honey? You up? We have to get going”. With no response from inside Sam opened the door kind of hoping to see Cas naked. But as soon as Sam opened the door, he knew Cas was gone. Sam saw the white paper on Cas’s pillow and his stomach sank, “no baby no, what did you do”? Sam opened the paper which simply said “I’ve caused enough damage”. That’s all? Sam thought… something wasn’t right and he wasn’t even sure it was Cas’s handwriting. Cas had a journal, he was a poet and he let Sam read some of it once. The handwriting looked familiar but not Cas’s it couldn’t be, plus it wasn’t in Cas’s style of wording plus he knew Cas wanted to desperately fix things so Sam knew Cas wouldn’t give up that easily. Sam was convinced something was amiss. 

Sam came bolting back to the kitchen “dude” Sam barked at Dean “look” Sam showed Dean the note. Dean with furrowed brow responded “no, Cas wouldn’t just take off like this, leaving things unsettled, it’s not in his nature” “no shit” Sam responded “something isn’t right about this Dean”, “something isn’t right about what boys”? “Cas taking off in the middle of the night” Sam replied. “Sammy’s right mom, it isn’t in Cas’s nature leaving things unresolved” “well there’s a first time for everything, maybe Cas couldn’t deal with the hurt he caused”, “unlikely” Sam snapped. “Hey mom”? Mary turning her attention to Dean “please don’t tell us you know something about this” “no, of course not, how could I know”? Sam is frantic at this moment, desperately trying to call Cas, it keeps ringing until it goes to Cas’s voicemail. Sam is pacing when he dials Cas’s number again, he then realized it’s ringing from somewhere in the bunker. “Dean”! Sam calls and Dean comes running, “shh, listen” the ringing continues Sam and Dean are both now hunting the sound. “Are you sure that’s Cas’s phone Sam”? “Yea, Cas assigned that particular ringtone to me” Dean makes a retching noise. Sam and Dean walk slowly down the hall and hear the ringtone getting louder. They stop outside Cas’s room and hear the ringtone the loudest and closest it’s been. They toss Cas’s room when Dean spots Cas’s phone on the nightstand. “Fuck” is the only thing that made it’s way out of an exacerbated Dean. “Sammy look”, Sam grabs the phone “Cas would definitely not leave without his phone even if he decided to just catch some air, he always has it in case of emergencies. Dean something is wrong I can feel it, where could he be”? Sam can’t fight the tears back, as if a damn just got busted, the tears flow freely, “Cas, baby can you hear me? Come home, please everything is all good, please come home” “that’s right Cas, it’s Dean come home and we can figure things out”. Dean sits beside Sam putting an arm around his little brother’s shoulder, “hey we will find the dorky little assbutt and bring him home Ok? Promise”. Mary watches this whole exchange and decides it’s better to let it hurt for while and let her boys heal. A broken heart can heal in time but a consistently broken heart never has a chance. In the long run keeping up with the lie is for the best for everyone. “Hey boys? I hate to bring it up, but we have to go. We have like an 11 hour drive, I mean Cas knows where we are going to be, maybe he will show up their or come back after we leave to get some space” “Hey, Sam mom is right. If anything diving into a case is probably the best option”, “I don’t know Dean, Cas’s disappearance is way too suspect. What if he was dragged away by force and he’s hurt somewhere”? “No Sammy, no, he’s fine”, Dean tries to comfort and console his brother, convincing Sam that everything is Ok, when honestly Dean is just as concerned, more so knowing Cas has been suicidal before. Dean thinks quietly “no Dean, don’t think in those terms, you have to be here for Sammy, hold him together. Don’t lose it and you can keep Sam from losing it too”. 

Sam, Dean and Mary head off into the early morning for the long trek to Grand Haven Michigan. Sam is trying to cope with just leaving without any word from Cas or any indication regarding Cas’s whereabouts, Sam’s stomach is sinking. Sam continues to call out to Cas, praying to him, hoping Cas can hear him wherever he is. Mary breaks the silence “look I know you boys are worried about Cas but he is more then capable of taking care of himself. As for you two, no distractions, I need you to bring you’re A game, we are taking on a wolf pack and I don’t particularly feel like spending the rest of my natural life combing and flea treating you. And I don’t think a chew toy no matter how awesome it is, is going to keep you from ripping people’s hearts out”, Sam and Dean both make an attempt to laugh over the panic and sorrow. Sam just keeps thinking about how he’s supposed to move on without Cas, and if Cas does come home Sam promises to never make him feel like he needs to leave again, as a matter of fact Sam vows to always sleep with Cas holding tight. He’s going to chain Cas to the mattress if he has too… mmm, Cas naked wrapped in chains sprawled out on Sam’s bed. Oh Cas, where are you? 

Sam’s cries are deafening to Cas, he is lying in his motel bed trying to sleep but Sam keeps praying to him. It’s hard to hear Sam in so much pain, and he appreciated Dean trying to be adult swearing everything is all good, the general message being Cas come home, home, Cas loved the bunker, his room, Sam. Cas never had family before or friends but he found all those creature comforts home. Cas tried to hold it together but he was saddened knowing he would never see home, or Sam ever again, he wondered if this motel would be his new home. No, no place but the bunker would ever be home, everywhere else would just be flop houses. Cas decided to get dressed and go down to the closest liquor store and drink away his sorrow. Everywhere Cas looked on his three block journey he saw happy couples and he thought of dancing in the streets with Sam, oh his sweet Sam. Cas was mainly pissed at himself for fucking things up so badly. Cas walked into the liquor store trying to find the gallon jugs of alcohol, Cas picked out a couple jugs of flavored drinks, like hurricane and Bahama mama, Cas also grabbed some heartier stuff, a 32 pack of beer and plastic cups. He then stopped at the corner store and grabbed different flavors of junk food, namely pork rinds. Cas went back to the motel then raided the ice machine bringing back to his room two buckets of ice, one he left out and one he stuck in the freezer. Without hesitation, Cas started chugging finding himself mixing flavors like he and Sam had done in the margarita bar, “oh Sam I am so sorry” Cas said to no one. No one, alone again… completely isolated, homeless and totally alone, somewhere Cas never wanted to be again, but here he was and rightfully so, it was for the best he thought or so he convinced himself amidst the desperate cries of sweet Sam.


	6. The Werewolf Den/Sam’s In Trouble, Must Be Tuesday

The Winchesters arrived at their destination at about 8 pm Thursday, locating the local motel and check in before meeting the local chapter of hunters at 9 pm at the local diner. Sam’s eyes are vacant, his silence and sorrow are breaking Dean and Mary’s heart. Sam checks in but he gets his own room because he can’t look at Dean and he suspects his mom had something to do with Cas’s disappearance, he feels it, it’s the only thing that makes sense because he knows Dean wouldn’t chase Cas out and he’s damn sure Cas wouldn’t leave of his own volition. Sam plops down on his bed and prays, “baby, can you hear me”? When there’s no response, Sam loses it.

Meanwhile in Mary’s room “Cas, I need to talk to you”, and Cas appears, only to Mary “what, you got what you wanted and maybe you were right”. “Cas, I’ve never seen Sam this devastated, maybe I acted too harshly and should have just stepped back and let you boys…” “no Mary, please don’t think like that, unfortunately things are complicated. I told Sam if it came to blows between him and Dean I would leave…so I did. I think we all need some space.” and just like that, Cas was gone again. Mary hears a loud thud on her door “who is it”? “Sam” Mary opens the door and bursts in “where is he”? “Where is who Sam”? “Don’t lie to me damn it! I heard him, I heard Cas! I was passing by and I know I heard his voice”. At this point Dean runs in trying to see what all the commotion is. “What the hell”? “Dean, Cas was in here talking to mom, I heard him! I know…” Sam can’t finish the sentence as the tears well up. Dean looks at Mary “mom”? “Ok, I admit it, Cas was here. He wanted some advice. I banished him from the bunker when I saw the trouble he was causing. I was trying to protect you boys. But I let him leave dignified, dressed with his belongings and a credit card. He went willingly though I swear. I called him over tonight because I realized him not being here was worse. Sam I had no idea how much you love him, I am so sorry. Anyways, we talked and he thought it was best to stay gone because of what it was doing to you two”. Sam fell to his knees “Dean you son of a bitch if you had just left well enough alone this would have never happened. I mean by own brother and mother”. Sam stormed off returned to his room and locked the door, locked himself. 

8:45 pm and there was no knocking at Sam’s door, which meant his family decided to leave him be which really was for the best. Sam would get the details later but for now he just needed to breathe. At about 9:15 pm Sam headed out, he needed air… and a stiff drink. On his way to the bar Sam passed by the diner the hunters were meeting at discussing their plans. Mary pointed him out on the street wondering where he was going off too. Emma, one of the hunters grabbed Mary’s arm “listen, if your son is heading in that direction he’s heading to the only bar in town. That bar is somewhat surrounded by forest, it’s quiet and desolate… it’s a perfect hunting ground for the pack. All the bodies that turned up came from a close proximity to the bar he is heading to, plus look… the moon is full”. Dean’s face drops “Ok, change of plans people… new mission, save Sam’s dumb ass”. The hunters move out trying to catch up with Sam, Mary waits behind sending the troops ahead “mom what are you doing” “getting some distance before I call Cas again” “got it, I’ll meet you up there”. “Cas? Cas! Damn it get your feathery ass down here! Sam is about to be in deep shit and we need your help”. Cas again appears “Mary?” “I’ll explain on the way but we think Sam is in trouble” in the backdrop of the evening sounds like crickets and frogs are stirred when Cas and Mary hear bone chilling howls… Cas with furrowed brow “werewolves”? “A pack” Mary clarifies “and Sam is about to accidentally head into their den alone and unprotected”. “I’ll meet you there” and Cas disappears so he can catch Sam. Mary burns pavement and runs up to catch the others. She sees Dean in the distance and calls to him “hey! Cas is here, he went on ahead to try to catch Sam” “thank God” Dean sighs with relief. 

The hunters catch up to a figure in a trench coat kneeling and sobbing on the ground, they have their weapons drawn as they don’t know if it’s a friend or foe. Mary pulls to the front to see what’s going on “Cas? Put your weapons down guys, he’s a friend… actually he’s and angel”. The other hunters lower their weapons at Mary’s behest. “Cas what are you?” Mary sucks in a breath “Oh my God” as tears start to fall, “who is it? Is that my brother over there”? Mary grabs Dean “no, no body just…” Cas finishes “just a large pool of blood, the amount is not something a human could survive or if they did they won’t last much longer”. Jameson, another of the other hunters asks “you guys got a picture of Sam”? “Yea” Mary says, she texts the picture to Emma then she starts forwarding the picture to the rest of the group. Jameson speaks again “look here, this is the victim, we need to find this boy alive” Jameson looks down at Mary regrettably “we have to face the possibility he’s been turned and God forbid that is the case, make damn sure before you put him down” Dean grabs Jameson by the collar and shoves him “no! You ain’t putting him down, if that needs to happen it will come from family… I’ll be the one to do it if it comes to that” Jameson defensively raises his arms “fair enough. Hey Emma, Bub why don’t you go check Sam’s motel, if he got hurt maybe he crawled back in there, Justin go in the bar and make sure he’s not in there, hang out in case he strolled somewhere else on his way there”. The three head off to their directed locations while the other eight hunters and Cas settle on the ground pulling out the local maps checking by grids trying to determine if there’s any areas that would make a good den location. “All right, in this quadrant we have a cave, in this one we have a cabin and over here we have actual camp grounds. These would all be ideal for a den so here’s how this is going to go. We will split up in teams of three to scout the location… SCOUT ONLY! I don’t need anyone’s emotions getting the better of them, three people can’t take on an entire wolf pack. Cas, Mike, Paisley you take the campgrounds, me, Dean and Sarah will take the cave, Peter, Mary and Alex you take the cabin. I’m splitting up the family of the missing boy because it won’t do him any good if you get dead before we can save him and bring him home. Everyone good”? Everyone nodded in agreement with the plan “good set your watches, we meet back here in one hour. 

“Mmm, ugh, ow shit. Mmm what the Hell” Sam stutters as he slowly regains consciousness, every thing is hazy. He tries to move but realizes he’s restrained and can’t move, then a horrible pain erupts from his side. It’s hazy, but it’s coming back to him. Sam was on his way to the bar, caught in his own world. He heard rustling but figured it was the wind at first, until it started sounding like footsteps. Sam quickened his pace and heard the footsteps quickened as well. Sam could see the bar and thought if he could just make it there he could call Dean and tell him what was going on. Sadly Sam never made it, out of the blue came a large man, Sam turned around to run but got stopped by another large man. “Sam Winchester… I’m going to have so much fun with you” one of them said. At that point Sam just started swinging blindly hoping he could just eek by them and run but they were too strong and they overpowered him and began to beat him. Suddenly Sam felt a stinging in his back, he didn’t understand until he looked down and saw the tip of a blade sticking out his stomach. He then felt another sting as the blade was removed. The final thing Sam remembers is a blow to the head. Sam looks down at his side and sees the blood, there’s a rag there but he is still bleeding out and he knows if he doesn’t get help soon, he’s not going to make it. The only thing Sam can do is focus on Cas, and hope he can hear him.

The hunters, the Winchesters and Cas are gearing up getting ready to head out when Cas drops to his knees screaming. Dean catches Cas “hey buddy what’s wrong”? “I can hear Sam, he’s crying out for help” Dean holds Cas “Can you get a read on where he is”? “Hold on Dean…” Cas focuses all his energy focusing on Sam and trying to get through “Sam it’s Cas, where are you what do you see? Are you outside, in a cave or in a cabin”? Sam opens his eyes wide and looks around, “Cas, I can hear you, I see wooden walls, a door and windows, I think I’m in a cabin”. “Oh thank God, Sam are you Ok”? “No, I’ve been run through and I’m bleeding out. Please help me”. “We’re on our way Sam…” Cas in tears “I love you, just hold on I’m coming for you and I’m bringing an army. Sam? Sam?! He seems to have lost consciousness, he said he thinks he’s in a cabin”. Just about that time Emma and Bub return “just in time guys, we located Sam. Mike text Justin and tell him to get out here and gear up” will do boss”.

Sam regains consciousness again only to see a blurry face up close to his own, he hears something sniffing him “Mm mm mm, I love the smell of dying hunter in the morning” the voice says in a deep southern accent and then laughs maniacally. Sam starts struggling turning his head away from the werewolves face, eyes closed shut, whimpering in spite of the duct tape on his mouth. “Now, now, calm down wouldn’t want you straining yourself and bleeding out before your friends came. Now don’t worry we won’t kill you right away, you’re our leverage. We are gonna take down every damn hunter for what they did to our little sister”. Sam looks around the room to see at least 6 people, “Oh, let me introduce you to what’s left of my pack, this is Tracy, Mark, Allen, Abo, Slim and Dallas. They’re going to be dining on your friends’ hearts tonight. Thought you should be acquainted at the very least” “Cas… can you hear me”? “Sam? Oh thank God, yes”? “Don’t come, it’s a trap there’s 7 of them all together or at least that are as many as I’m looking at, there could be more outside. They captured me to get to the local hunters who killed their sister. Cas you can’t come here, please”. 

Dean puts his hand on Cas’s shoulder “what’s up honey” Cas blushes, Cas then turns to the entire group “it’s Sam, he says the werewolves want revenge for their little sister and are using Sam as leverage to get you guys there to rescue him, it’s a trap. Sam says there are at least 7 inside but is unsure of how many, if any outside”. “Ok, game plan time kids” as Dean calls a huddle. So we know where these bastards are right? Cas did Sammy give you any indications as to where in the cabin he is”? “he said he saw a door and windows” “We know the cabin, there’s only one area you can see the door and a window, that’s right up front, the only other possibility is in the bedroom, but that doesn’t fly, if what the angel says is true and it’s a trap which I’m inclined to believe they would want the kid where we could see him with maybe two at the most with him, the others would probably all hide in the bedroom so we would be ambushed thinking it’s just the two. I am also inclined to think there are at least two sentries one at the back of the house and one in the front, though the front area is the only entrance.” Jameson adds. Dean continues “Ok good, who has a pen and paper”? “I do” someone blurts out as they pass the pen and paper to the front. “Jameson, make a quick blueprint of the cabin, including any windows you remember seeing, where the door is and where you think the pack is. Make sure it’s directionally accurate, as in” Dean draws a cross with N,S,E,W marked “so we know how to approach”. “Will do”. Jameson quickly draws up the plans and marks the entrance and so forth. Once Dean has it in hand “Ok, this bedroom here, there is a window”? “Yes” “Ok hunters, what do we have as werewolf killing explosives”? “I have something” Mary pipes up, “from your besties the BMOL, it’s a gas which given the werewolves heightened sense of smell throws them for a loop long enough for the grenade to blow which blows pure silver shrapnel”. Dean nods, “Sweet. How many we have?” “3”. Ok, here’s the plan…” Cas cuts Dean off, “I can’t wait for strategies and schematics here! Sam is dying in there”! Mary attempts to sooth Cas, “I know Cas we all love him, remember I’m his mother and that’s his brother. We have to do this if we have any hope of getting him out alive, otherwise see back to what Jameson said about us getting dead before we can rescue him” Cas nods in agreement, “you’re right, Dean continue”. “Ok, so here’s the plan which first of all, I’m terrible with names so all of you have just been renamed… you. You, you and you go scout and see if you can tell where the sentries are. Once they get back, me Jameson and Emma is it” “yes” “we take out the sentry at the front, um Justin? You come with us, while were are handling the sentry, you are going to take the 3 grenades, pull the pins but leave them in the bag. Throw a rock to weaken the glass of that one bedroom window, then the bag itself gets tossed. You have to move quick with this so make sure everything is set before you pull those pins. The three I just sent to scout will hit the sentry in the back. Cas, mom and everyone’s name who hasn’t been called is the clean up crew, once you hear the explosion the only I want you to focus on is getting through the front door and hacking and slashing your way to Sam. There will still be 7 of us outside, so we’ll mind the door and the windows in case anything comes out. Since it’s a small space, we’ll send a smaller team in so we’re not tripping on each other. fewer people but easier to back these sons of bitches into a corner we got this”? Everyone nods their head in agreement o f the plan and understands the part they play. Just as they are settling up, the three scouts return. Dean approaches them “what you got” “well Jameson was right, there are only two sentries” Dean holds up the blueprint “here and here” they point at the map. “Ok, Reader’s Digest of the game play, I’m leading a team to hit the front sentry, you guys hit the back and totally ignore everyone else. Our main goal is to take these wolves out and catch anything trying to run, got it”? “Yea”. “One more thing, I’ve buried to many good friends, so please teams don’t let anyone get dead. Let’s rest up, we move out in 15”.

It was an inappropriate time for Cas to think on this, it’s just his masculine dominance was powerful and sexy. “To hell with it” Cas says to himself and walks over to Dean “Can I speak to you alone for a moment, just need to go over some things” “sure Cas”, they walk off behind a tree line which thankfully no one thinks twice about since they are good friends. As soon as Cas and Dean are alone, Dean sees That look in Cas’s eyes, and without a word, Dean has Cas pushed up against a tree, “I forgot how horny you got when I go all military leader before a skirmish”. In no time, Dean was kissing Cas hard… this is all kinds of wrong Cas thought. But if this was going to be the one that did them it, this is what Cas would prefer to think about in his dying moments. Cas is purring and humming while kissing Dean, it felt too good. “My cock is the needle and my cum is the drug and you are an addict” Dean pulls Cas’s hair back to properly slit their lips together, Dean pushes his hips up against Cas’s. “Say it Cas, say it… it will never be done with us will it”? “Oh God help me Dean, no. I love you, damn it to hell I still love you” “and Sammy”? “I love him too Dean” “I might be able to work with that” “huh” “shut up Cas”. Dean has Cas bent over, gripping the tree and is already sliding Cas’s pants down, Cas hears that sound, the sound of a fly unzipping. Without warning, without lubrication, without any ease, Dean slides his hard cock into Cas. Dean strokes in and out, loosening Cas slightly but it doesn’t make a difference. Cas is about to get fucked, rock hard by Dean. It’s a quickie, and Dean sure knows how to push Cas there in seconds. Dean is steady pounding as he grunts, he’s rough like and animal, just plowing into Cas with no rhyme or reason, the only goal is cuming hard. It’s sloppy, it’s dirty, it’s one of the things Cas loves about Dean. Cas can feel Dean tightening up at which point Cas reaches down and starts stroking his own cock. “No baby, let me… I want to touch all of you, control all of you” at which point, Dean reached his hand around and starts stroking Cas, hard and intense. Cas is going nuts, he is getting fucked hard and violent by Dean Winchester and it only takes two little words to push him over the edge. Dean leans into Cas’s ear and in that low, sexy gravely voice Dean simply says “cum baby” and Cas does, so hard he leaves hand prints in the tree and a bite print on his arm because he screamed because of how hard he was cuming. Cas knew if he went full volume even the werewolves would know the dirty things he and Dean were doing. Dean cums so hard he leaves hand prints on Cas ass and a bite print on Cas’s shoulder. Dean takes a bandana out of his pocket and cleans Cas up other wise he will have visible “anal leakage” from all the cum Dean unloaded. Cas is still clenching the tree, his legs a shaking like a leaf, he feels Dean bend down and help him pull himself together. Dean turns Cas around and gently kisses Cas, “calm down baby, calm down… just breathe” but it was one of those orgasms that made it difficult to breathe or stop shaking. Dean has hands all over Cas, soothing him. It takes Dean a few to calm Cas down, a few extra because he decided to accidentally on purpose rub Cas’s cock which made Cas almost cum again in his pants. Dean kissed Cas “yea, I still got what you love don’t I baby”, Cas only speaking gibberish could only shake his head in agreement to Dean. Grounding Cas Dean finally says “lets go save your boyfriend” again, Cas only nods. 

Cas and Dean nonchalantly walk out of the woods with papers in their hands as if their going over the plans in detail. Mary stands “you guys good”? “Yea mom, no problem, Cas just had concerns and he never asks his questions in front of everyone… just a thing” “Yes I am feeling much more confident now about the plans”. “Ok, cool as long as everyone is on the same page”. “All right” Dean calls to attention while looking at Cas with a sideways glare and winking “let’s move out”. 

The hunters went as close as they could to the cabin to check it out, thankful they were upwind. Dean motions for the three hunters taking the back sentry so sneak up and take him out first so he couldn’t sound the alarm when the other 4 snuck up front. This went off pretty much without a hitch, the 3 hunters were able to get behind the sentry in the back and restrain him while they decapitated him using silver plated piano wire. Then Dean and his crew snuck up on the sentry in the front also immobilizing him and decapitating him. Dean looked at Justin and nodded. As planned Justin in three quick motions had the grenade pins pulled, a rock through the window, followed by the bag. The werewolves inside didn’t even have time to react before it exploded sending shrapnel and limbs flying. There was multiple howling as bodies started jumping out the windows. Dean motions for Cas and Mary and the other two to get through the front door, but this was met with a hitch as injured werewolves were barreling towards them. The 4 hunters just stood in a line swinging at anything that came out the door. Dean ran up to join them. After hacking and slashing their way in they saw two werewolves standing around Sam who was no longer conscious, his skin was pale, the duct tape had been removed so they could see his lips were blue and blood was pooling at his feet. “Sam”! Cas screamed out, he looked at the other hunters and they nodded while Cas made a b-line for Sam. As Cas got close to Sam on werewolf pounced, Cas picked him up and threw him into the fray of the blade swinging hunters, Cas got on his knees, leaned back and slid under the second werewolf’s blade Matrix style then bouncing quickly to his feet Cas swung around jabbing his angel blade into the werewolf’s neck. Cas kicked the unsteady werewolf towards the hunters and Mary finished him off. Once the healthy two were out of the way the hunters met back up and began operation clean sweep making sure nothing but the good guys were still moving. Cas yanked the restraints off Sam, laying Sam gently on the floor “hey baby” Sam coughed blood “hey shh, shh, shh, you’re Ok baby I’m here, I got you. Cas playfully talks to Sam while inspecting Sam for his injuries. “Hey, hey, I leave you alone for two hours and look what you get to” Sam is trying to laugh but instead coughs up more blood. Cas sees a puncture hole to the side of Sam’s stomach. He gently turns Sam on his side causing Sam to scream in pain so Cas can get a good look at the entrance wound. Dean comes over “hey Sammy, we’ll get you fixed up in no time, we’re here” Mary joints them and covered in blood Sam nods heroically. Dean whispers in Cas’s ear “how bad”? Cas pulls Mary and Dean close to huddle “he’s got a puncture wound the size of my fist from back to front, they got his lung, he has internal bleeding, fluid in his lungs, blood loss, his face is banged up and he has a concussion. I’m going to get him to the couch over there to make him comfortable. This is going to take a while because of how close he is… to death” “well why are we squawking? Get to patching him” “of course Dean” That’s when they hear a gurgling noise, Sam is choking on his own blood and seizing. “Hey Sammy! No, no, no. Come on stay with us man”. Cas picks Sam up which seems to make things worse, and carries him to the nearby couch. All Mary and Dean can see is a golden light glowing over the wounds. Cas turns Sam slightly to get to his back and concentrates his efforts there. After about 20 minutes, the hole starts closing the only trace is the blood around the area. Cas then turns his attention to the exit wound which takes another 15 minutes. Cas lays his hands on Sam’s chest trying to heal his lungs and clear the fluid and internal bleeding. Sam starts breathing normally after another 20 minutes, lastly, Cas lays hands on Sam’s face clearing the abrasions. It’s a full hour before Sam is upright and talking, at which point one of the first things Sam does is kiss Cas “I was so scared I was going to die and never see you again” “never would have happened Sam, even if I had to make a deal with a crossroads demon myself” Sam and Cas sit forehead to forehead tears welling up in their eyes. The touching moment is cut short when Emma comes running in from outside. “Guys, I think we have a problem”, the Winchesters go bolting for the door where they see a man approaching “what have you done to my children” he bellows which turns into a howl. The man’s clothes begin to rip as he suddenly transforms in front of everyone. Dean pushes everyone inside the house quickly and latches the door. “Barricade this door, and the bedroom so he can’t get us from there” “why are we stressing? He’s just another werewolf isn’t he?” “Not by a long shot Jameson, that’s an OG werewolf, pureblood. Makes him more powerful, able to transform at will… way harder to kill”. Everyone stands around panicking, Dean takes action “move people”. Everyone skitters around barricading doors, watching windows, shutting up what they can, then moving into one circle, backs to each other. Sam jumps up, “give me a weapon” Cas grabs Sam “you just healed, you’re not ready and transports Sam safely back to the motel “Cas! Damn it! Ugh, Sammy kicks a chair”. Cas then says “this bastard has to be dealt with or he will keep making more packs, however this should be on a volunteer basis so anyone else who wishes to be transported out now… speak”. Not a single person speaks up except Jameson “no man, we know the score live and die by the sword etc., we’re cool. What’s this guy doing”? Jameson whispers. Emma, Bub and Justin carefully sneak to the windows, not getting close enough to be yanked out, opening the curtains with the nozzle of their shot guns. They slowly back away from the windows when Justin says “it looked like he was skulking man but then he disappeared. “Get back in the circle” Dean orders. They stand in the circle slowly spinning in unison waiting for the werewolf to come bursting in”. Again, Jameson speaks out in his slow southern drawl “what the God dang is he doing out there”, this time Cas responds “putting us on edge or waiting us out I have an idea” and Cas is gone just like that Alex with furrowed brow “where the hell did he get off to”? “Scouting most likely, he can go invisible”. Several minutes later Cas comes flying through the bedroom door, “he’s right behind me” weapons drawn they get ready to charge. They see a figure in the bedroom, “close your eyes” Cas screams and the room is engulfed with a bright white light “he’s blind go” and everyone charges at once overpowering the blinded werewolf. They wolf stands up flinging bodies everywhere. Everyone clamors back into a cluster formation. The werewolf is still blind and staggering, swinging wildly into the air. The group once again blindsides and over takes the monster. No one is sure who or how it happened but within a matter of moments, a head comes rolling out of the circle… everyone looks around… all the good guys are standing which means… ding dong the wolf is dead. 

All the hunters lumber outside relishing the sweet smell of the fresh air, thankful they are still breathing to be able to enjoy it. They make it to the bar and are chit chatting outside, “who’s up for a drink”? Asks Jameson and there is a full roar of here, heres and hell yeas. Everyone except Cas, “I’d love to join you guys but Sam” there’s another round of yeas, no problems and good to meet you mans. Dean pipes up “yea I get it, go and check on sasquatch, and bring this with you” Dean hands Cas a bottle of whiskey he was holding on to. And beautiful Dean, not a single smart remark or dirty glance. Just a smile that says “I get it”. Cas and Dean hug… close, Dean sneaks a gentle kiss on Cas’s neck and they part ways.


	7. The Ugly Truth/ 50 More Shades of Sastiel

Cas is back at the motel with Sam and all Cas can do his hug and kiss Sam with fury and passion “I’m so glad your Ok, baby”. “Really… are you now? Because if so… you have an odd way of showing it”. Cas looks perplexed “really Cas? When we were doing the whole Vulcan mind meld thing, I was still connected when you and Dean… worked out your battlefield aggression. I can’t believe you, I was dying and you two took time to… I can’t even look at you right now! I thought, I mean I really thought you wanted to work things out”. “Sam shut up and listen, nerves make people do strange things, and you have to remember I loved Dean first and there’s a profound bond there since I raised him from perdition. But then I met you, and I realized I may have loved Dean first, but I love you more and you have to believe me when I tell you this. In certain ways I am still human, and I have a weakness for your brother that I am working on. Now pour us a drink and get undressed and I’ll show you what I was really thinking about”. Sam was taken aback my Cas’s aggression, and honestly turned on by Cas being all Dom. Sam’s arousal was enough to let the Dean thing go at least until he got his rocks off. Sam poured he and Cas a drink, then another, then another until both their heads were swimming and Sam genuinely forgot about Dean. Instead Sam got undressed and laid naked in the bed. Cas had his trench coat and suit jacket off but looked like he was staying dressed as he merely undid his belt and his pant button and zipper. Cas kneeled over Sam, “suck it”, Sam grabbed a handful of balls and a mouthful of dick obeying Cas’s command. As Sam licked and sucked the tip Cas jerked the base right into Sam’s mouth. Sam pulled Cas’s dick out because the Dean thing popped back in his head “look Cas” “no you look Sam, I have had a really fucked up time as of late, first getting banished by your mom, getting separated from you, then taking on an entire wolf pack to save the love of my life who was basically DEAD! When I got to him, I used almost every ounce of grace trying to wrestle you away from Heaven’s Gate with no time to recoup because I then had to play hide and seek with a badass werewolf trying to protect everyone else, I got busted up, flung through a door and had to use what little energy I had left to blind the damn thing so we could chop the fucker’s head off!!! Now I am sorry but I don’t feel like hearing your bullshit when I walk through the door! Now we can do this the easy way where you participate or the hard way where you don’t”!!! Sam is laying there stunned, eyes wide and doe like and somehow feeling bad for Cas because of the rough time he had, and Dean or not, he’s just looking to take out some frustrations and he’s asking to do it with the love of his life who is supposed to be the person that takes your shit. Sam thought on that, his man had a bad day and he’s looking for an outlet… that kind of turned Sam on, spurred him on”. “Look baby I’m sorry, I’m grouchy, pent up, frustrated and exhausted and I just really need you to let me fuck you raw”. Sam’s arousal peaked, “I promise when I’m feeling better we’ll talk about Dean” Sam was so turned on he swallowed Cas like his cock was a life support machine and Sam couldn’t breathe. “Ugh, oh yea Sam… mmm, so good oh yea”. Cas grabbed Sam by the hair and drove Sam’s face down on his cock. Cas started taking his shirt off but before he could even start Sam reached up and ripped it like it was paper, then Cas pulled up his undershirt giving Sam access to his nipples “Ah.. ah Sam! Sam I’m gonna, ugh, I’m gonna cum baby” to which Sam simply hummed “mm hmm” “Ah! Ah! Ah! Ugh! Ah! Sam… Sam” Sam took Cas all the way down and Cas came down the back of Sam’s throat, Cas was shaking still holding on to Sam’s hair, still thrusting to the back of Sam’s throat. Sam came up for air a good 5 minutes after Cas came making sure he got every drop and making sure Cas was finished off. Sam laid Cas back on the bed, Cas just laid there humming and stroking his cock not convinced he was done. Sam finished undressing Cas and got him another drink. Sam leaned over Cas stroking soft and sweetly. “Let me take care of you baby Sam pleaded “Ah Sam… baby” Cas hissed, “mmm, so good”. As soon as Cas was rock hard again he finished his drink and set the glass aside. “Ride me Sam, you want to take care of me? Work me until I decide we’re done here”. Sam grabbed the lube in the drawer and slicked Cas up and down until pre-cum came dripping out. Sam then positioned himself on Cas’s cock “no baby, turn around”, Sam turns around with his back facing Cas, Cas holds his cock still so Sam can get it inside him. Cas pushes Sam forward a bit, then grabs him by the arms using Sam’s wrists as leverage do grind deep into Sam, making slow, circular thrusts making sure Sam feels every inch, showing Sam who’s boss, who he belongs to. Cas owns Sam’s ass and Cas is proving it. Now Sam realizes why Cas chose this position, the angle hits straight to the sweet spot. Cas loops his arms around Sam’s so Cas can hold him there and so he can grab a handful of ass and hips and just starts pumping away like a maniac making Sam squeal “Agh! Cas! It’s too much oh please slow down I’m cuming, I’m cuming Cas” “I know you are baby” and Cas doesn’t stop hitting the spot, pumping, thrusting then holding on and driving deep into Sam “Ahh! Cas! Ah! I can’t… I’m cuming again! Oh please ah! Ah!” Sam breathes heavy and shakes but before he can recover “Oh Cas! I’m cuming again Ah! AHH! CAASSS! I can’t stop cuming, ah it’s getting sore”. Cas waves his hands over Sam “that better baby”? “That’s not fair” “No baby… this isn’t fair” Cas waves a hand over Sam and he climaxes but he doesn’t come down, he is frozen in the pinnacle of a hard orgasm, cum just jetting out everywhere. Cas is still pumping, thrusting then holding on and driving deep, Sam is in tears. Begging Cas, he can’t breath. Then Sam feels it, he feels Cas cuming and as Cas cums Sam’s frozen climax intensifies just feeling Cas thrust so hard into him Sam can feel Cas’s energy traveling up his body, like his whole body is being engulfed in light and warmth. When Cas starts to come down from the climax he lets Sam go so Sam has resolution to his state. They finish up together, taking another good long while to come down, so aroused they just keep pumping each other, but this time slower, going from hard core fucking to gently making love having harder and harder simultaneous orgasms until their bodies go limp, both finally feeling satisfied and Sam can’t even walk. Sam just lazily reaches over for the bottle of whiskey and sits it between him and Cas, Sam leaning on his side because it hurts to sit. Sam drinks to quiet the stinging, fullness, aching swelling. Cas can heal Sam at anytime, but decides to let him suffer for a little Cas simply remembering who the boss is. Cas lays on top of Sam threatening his hole with another breach just to hear Sam break and beg, not only to not get fucked but to get healed, his insides are on fire and throbbing. This goes on for a good 30 minutes before Cas decides to cave feeling Sam got the point. Cas heals Sam, soothes him, then to be pure evil gives Sam another one of those orgasms, “just so you know, I never did that for Dean”. Sam tenses up for at least 15 minutes before Cas lets him go, evilly chuckling. “Now Sam, you can still be the top but what are you going to do in the future when I come home and say bend over and give me your ass” “I’m going to pull my pants down and bend over”. They laugh, cuddle and finish off the whiskey. It’s about 3 am when they settle down, completely relaxed but they still have Dean lingering in the air, what are they going to do about Dean? “Tomorrow has it’s own trouble” Cas blurts out, “so until then” Cas and Sam wrap their arms around each other and hold on tight and they settle into sleep.


	8. Sober Truths

Sam and Cas wake up in the morning silently, moving in almost slow motion. They exchange longing glances then turn their heads in silence. They woke up that morning sober from the adrenaline of last evening’s hunt and the hurt suddenly kicked in. The sudden revelation of reality sinking in. The weight of Cas’s multiple infidelities loomed heavy in the air like a thick fog. They thought of the events of the previous evening, the sex they so easily fell into realizing hard orgasms were only a means to an end, the end of pain. It was a way to take their minds off real life events. That bubble they put themselves into to comfort them, shield them. Sex wasn’t the answer this time, it couldn’t fix their shattered relationship. Sex was a trap sometimes, lulling people into a false sense of security, confusing it with forgiveness. But nothing was forgiven was it? Regardless of the events that led up to it, Cas still slept with Dean, twice now. Sam was broken, he thought there relationship was stronger then their weaknesses. Sam saw he and Cas’s relationship as an unshakable rock, an anchor in the shaky seas of life. That night they ran off to the hotel, the things they discovered, the things they shared. Sam went deeper with Cas then with anyone in life before. Dean, how could he betray him so completely. How could Cas let him. Sam was visibly shaken to the core and now in the cold light of day he realized the extent of the damage. What was he supposed to do with this? Maybe Dean was right, maybe Cas didn’t belong to him… not really. Maybe he was the rebound guy Cas used to get over Dean, again using sex as a way to forget. Cas and Sam were in trouble and Sam was helplessly free falling, with nothing to grab a hold of unlike Cas who could always go back to Dean. Maybe Dean was right, Cas and Dean really are the ones always meant to be together. Sam felt used, betrayed and tossed aside. And come to think of it, he started feeling angry. How could Cas use him on that level, how could Cas let it go on as long as it did. The things they shared, why couldn’t Cas be honest and just say he wasn’t looking for anything that deep, he just wanted a shallow fuck buddy. How many times did Cas lie? What did Cas lie about? All of it? Was Cas genuine about anything? Sam knew the answers would probably kill him, so he thought better not to ask, for now. Sam tried to catch his breath as he searched for the words, he looked up at Cas and settled on the only two words he could come up with in that moment. He couldn’t believe what he was about to say but finally mustering up the courage looked up, looked at Cas and declared “it’s over”. Sam grabbed his bag, laptop and coat and left Cas standing there in disbelief the words echoing… it’s over.

Sam, Dean, Mary and Cas rode back to the bunker in silence because no words could completely grasp the gravity of the situation. They arrived at the bunker, finally Mary said “I’ll let you kids know if I have any cases roll my way, I’m building a few as we speak so…”, Sam and Dean nodded in silence and Cas looked at his feet. Mary sort of felt guilty about leaving them that way, wondering if they needed their mom around with everything that was going on. But she felt they were big boys and needed to figure things out on their own, plus she didn’t want to be in the way. Besides the boys knew how to get a hold of her if they needed to. Mary said her good-byes, hugging the boys and nodding at Cas before she took off back to her life. The Winchester boys and Cas headed silently into the bunker, the first time the library was actually as quiet as one. Dean sat down at one of the long tables and popped open a bottle of scotch and didn’t even bother with a glass. Mary might have not been so sure, but Dean had a pretty good idea of what was going on. Dean nodded his head once, put the bottle down and blurted out “so I guess Cas told you about last night”? “Sort of” Cas explained Sam cut in “worse Dean, I saw it. Laying there dying I saw everything” Dean looked up perplexed. “When Cas did that thing that joined our thoughts”. Dean looked like he was feeling like shit, it’s one thing to be told but to have actually witnessed. “Sam…” “don’t Dean, don’t say your sorry because it’s a lie”. Sam skulked out of the room and off to bed trying to think about what his next move was. Leaving, that’s what Sam was thinking, leaving so he didn’t have to deal… yea, that was best. “Mom”? “Yeah Sammy what’s up”? “Can I stay with you for a little bit”? “That bad huh Sammy”? “You have no idea mom”. “Look I haven’t made it far, if I turn around now I can be there in about an hour” “yea, that’s… that’s kind of perfect actually”. Sam hung up the phone and started packing. Sam could feel himself being watched from the doorway “going somewhere Sam”? Asked Cas in his dulcet tone. “Yea, I’m going to stay with mom for a while” “I understand”. In absolute frustration Sam threw down the socks he had in his hand “DAMN IT CAS”!!! “What Sam”? “Exactly that! Cas why are you so damn calm! I said I’m leaving”! “I heard you Sam, but what am I supposed to do? What can I do Sam? I fucked up and your unhappy and I know how deep I dug myself. Do you want me to beg you to stay? I’m begging Ok? You want me to wh… wh…what hop on one leg? Hammer a nail into my head what am I supposed to do”? “The fact that you don’t know Cas… that I have to tell you…” “don’t know what Sam”? “I want you to fight for me! I want you to tell me I wasn’t a rebound! I want you to comfort me and tell me it wasn’t all a lie! That you weren’t using me to get back at or to get over Dean”! “Sam” Cas looked at the floor. Sam took a deep breath “Oh my God Cas really”? “Look Sam, that may have been the case at first if I’m honest but I meant it when I said I was in love you, the way you look at me with love in your eyes, I have never had anyone look at me that way. Was I sure from the start? No, but the point is I learned to love you over time “wait let me get this straight… you had to learn to love me”? “Yes Sam, and once I did fall in love with you I had no doubt in my mind” “Until Dean showed interest right Cas? Then you wondered if you made the right choice? If you picked the right brother? I mean if you were so sure, you and Dean would have NEVER… I was dying for Christ’s sake and I had to watch my boyfriend AND my brother!” Sam sat on the bed crying not having the strength to stand anymore. “Sam I am so, so sorry” “so sorry you let it happen twice”? “Sam, if you’re going to retort everything I say then what is the point of having this conversation”? “You’re not as human as you thought Cas” Sam let out a nervous laugh. Sam then grabbed his belongings and got right up in Cas’s face “God damn you Cas” shouldering him as he walked out. Sam stalked past Dean “hey Sammy! Where are you…” but by the time Dean could get out “going” Sam was already on his way out of the bunker slamming the door hard behind him. Cas came quickly paced down the hall trying to catch Sam before it was too late. “Cas”? “Where did Sam go”? “He left” Cas in furious frustration hammered the closest wall with his fist. “Will you please tell me what the hell is going on”? “He left me Dean… he’s gone”. As Cas said the words he fell into the wall, sliding down and putting his head in his hands sobbing uncontrollably. Dean knelt down, thinking of how to make things better, what he could do to make things right, but deep down inside he was relieved Sam was finally out of the way.


	9. Haunting Memories

It took a couple of weeks for Cas to come around and come home to the bunker, he decided to hold up back in the hotel he originally checked in to when Mary banished him. Cas just laid there naked getting drunk on an hourly basis. Dean called Cas everyday, would come by to drop off supplies, Dean even took a break from hunting to care for Cas. Dean was such a source of support, just like Sam used to be. Cas saw a whole other side to Dean, nurturing, supportive, loving. One time Cas took Dean up on a dinner offer and Dean held Cas’s hand at the dinner table. Dean was pleased his attempts to get Cas back seemed to be effective and Dean was thankful he had the time to put said plan into effect. And Cas not being stupid knew Dean had a hidden agenda, but with Sam gone and Cas being convinced they would never get back together he didn’t see any harm in testing the waters, especially with the 180 Dean was doing. Dean would say “look Sam is gone so it’s not like you have to worry about awkwardly running into him in the halls, plus I thinks it’s safe to assume we are both lonely and hurt? So why not be lonely and hurt together, we can help each other get through this tough time. In times like this we need to be united not divided, I mean any way you slice it Cas, you’re family. So stop wasting money on this shitty motel and come home, to your bed, to hunting since I need a new right hand”. Dean was cute and endearing and had a greatly convincing smile even though Cas knew behind that smile were wolf’s teeth but ultimately Cas had to admit that Dean was right. Why be alone? But isn’t it that kind of thinking that got Cas in trouble with Sam? Oh Cas’s sweet Sam… Cas agreed to come home but made a silent agreement with himself. He wasn’t going to get into anything heavy with Dean, maybe a hollow fuck from time to time, but he was going to resist any emotional attachments just in case Sam… just in case.

Weeks passed since Sam left, Dean and Cas hadn’t heard from Sam but would get sporadic calls from Mary, getting the low down on recent cases, cross referencing and verification of information. They could chat about cases that may overlap or exchange information, but nothing too heavy, and Sam never came up in conversations, as if he was a taboo subject. Once Cas could have sworn Dean must have caught Sam as he overheard Dean say something along the lines of “but why should he have to choose Sam, we would all be happier if we shared” but Cas assumed the conversation went south as Dean finished with “I get it but… hello? Hello?” and then Dean muttering “damn it” under his breath then he hung up.

By this time, the seasons were melting from warm breezes and beaches to cool and humid afternoons and using a space heater at nights. Cas would spend as much time as he could walking in wooded areas, he loved watching the changing of the seasons, the leaves drying and falling to the ground, he thought it was beautiful. Fall was always his favorite season since forever. These were times Cas missed Sam the most, thinking fondly of the walks they would take, Sam loved fall too. Dean always declared he loved summer because it was bikini season. Cas found himself thinking of Sam everyday, missing him, wishing he could change… or rectify the situation. Thinking on if he had chosen his words more wisely, for an ancient being that loved and lived with humanity he could be a real idiot, especially to matters of the human heart. The nights were the worst on him, in the silence and the dark he was alone with his thoughts of Sam, his smile, his, touch, his laugh, his quirky notions. Cas would fall asleep thinking of Sam which made Cas dream of him which led to heart break every morning waking up without him. Cas’s pillows would be drenched with tears while his sheets drenched with sweat, like he was going through withdraws which in actuality Cas was, he was having to learn to live without Sam, trying to quit him, get Sam out of his mind. Every morning old wounds being ripped open of their own accord, like the hemorrhaging woman from the bible, no matter what Cas did, he couldn’t stop the bleeding. He realized how much he loved Sam because of how much pain he was in without him. But what about Dean? He was being amazing, loving Cas the way he needed to be loved and going slow knowing Cas was healing. Cas dreaded the day when Dean would realize he wasn’t his, not really. He ached with a feeling of helplessness, not knowing what to do. He felt like a major ass, putting Sam and Dean through this because of his own indecisiveness, ultimately just afraid of being abandoned again. On his darkest days, Cas wondered if he should just put everyone out of their misery by disappearing permanently. Other days he thought he should just fall off the planet, move to Europe and join a monastery. He was sick of hurting the people he loved as much as he was sick of hurting himself. What should he do? What could he do? 

Cas returned that evening to the bunker and saw Dean pouring over newspaper articles, Cas knew Dean was waiting for a sign anything from Cas other then moping and eating in silence. Dean looked up and smiled at Cas “bad day sweetheart”?, Cas just began sobbing, Dean rushed to hold him steady so he didn’t collapse. With tears in his eyes Cas looked up at Dean “take me to bed” and the relief on Dean’s face. Cas figured like the song says “if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with”. And Cas knew Dean would be too selfish to help him get Sam back anyway because of how he felt about Cas. Dean picked Cas’s limp and weak body up and carried him to Dean’s room and laid him gently on the bed. Dean then helped Cas out of his clothes and turned on the heater to help ease out the chill. Dean could tell by Cas’s broken demeanor this wasn’t about sex. So Dean crawled into bed with Cas and just held him, and for the first time in a long time they both felt relieved, almost half way to happy even… even if it was for just a temporarily fleeting time. But neither wanted to think in those terms, therefore they just enjoyed the silence, the comfort, each other holding tight into restful bliss.


	10. New Beginnings?

Cas woke in the morning to an empty bed but before he knew it, Dean having gone into domesticated mode was pushing the door open with his foot to reveal the plate of pancakes and coffee in his hands, Cas just sat there bewildered at the goofy grin on Dean’s face. Cas looked at the clock, “a little early to be drinking even for you” there was complete silence followed by a loud bellowing of laughter throughout the bunker. What was this? Was this happiness? Dean sat the plate down on the nightstand and smiled at Cas “just thought you’d appreciate… well this”. Cas had a moment, Dean had never done this before, they were never alone like this, there relationship never got here. What was Cas seeing, the new and improved relationship material side of Dean Winchester? Dean still had silverware in his hand, he held it up “whoops! Sorry guess you need these”, Dean cleared his throat and laughed awkwardly. He went to put the silverware down when he and Cas made eye contact. It had been a long time since they looked at each other like that. Cas couldn’t resist Dean’s charms this particular morning wondering if every day could be like this, pancakes and giggles. Dean had questions about where he stood with Cas and Cas decided to answer him. Cas reached over and took Dean by the hand, he pulled him down and kissed him, not a shallow, forced nonchalant kiss, but like Cas meant it. “If this is what I get for pancakes, what would happen if next time I brought bacon too”? They started giggling and Cas finally had what he always wanted, the softer side of Dean. Cas then acknowledged there was only one plate, to which Cas replied “will you be joining me Mr. Winchester”? With pure joy on his face Dean replied “it would be my honor Mr. Novak”. 

The day only got better when they decided that the day had been cancelled and they weren’t getting out of bed. Dean was passionate, gentle with Cas like their first time, Cas’s real first time. At first they were hesitant trying to get their sea legs back, they hadn’t done anything since Sam left, since the forest. Cas was trying desperately to stay true to Sam. But Dean had been truly convincing about Sam never coming back. It started by Dean feeding Cas pancakes which he thought was so sweet, then Cas dribbled a little syrup on his chin, Dean swooped in to lick it off. When Dean finished while Cas was giggling their eyes met and a fire engulfed them. Dean took the plate and laid it to the side. When he turned back over, he took Cas by the chin and kissed him, tentatively as if to say “is this Ok”? In response, Cas laid back to give Dean better access. Dean laid on his side, draping his arm over Cas slotting their lips together, tongues tangling in delicious delight. They just laid in each others arms, each movement Dean made was paused looking at Cas’s face to see any signs of hesitation, making sure each move planned had permission to proceed. Cas put up no resistance to Dean because Cas needed the feeling of connectivity, he needed a blissful release, he needed this. Dean devoured Cas’s mouth like he was famished and only Cas could provide the nourishment he needed. They were both ravenous for each other and movement after action after breath expressed this. Dean gently removed Cas’s top and stroked Cas’s side while looking deeply into his eyes. He kissed Cas breathless. Dean explored every freckle on Cas’s chest, rubbing circles around his nipples which was so inspiring Cas’s cock even twitched in response to Dean’s glorious touch. Dean had rough hands, but they felt smooth on Cas’s skin. Dean then slid his hand down to Cas’s thighs, making Cas quake. Dean then ran his hand up under Cas’s boxers not touching Cas’s hard on, simply brushing his hand by it which made Cas purr and clench the pillow, eyes closed shut. Dean rolled on top of Cas grinding their hard-ons together, Dean digs his hips in making Cas feel the pressure. Cas reaches up and pulls Dean’s shirt up, Dean helping him because they need skin to skin contact. Sweet blessed release came when Dean pulled his boxers off, then worked on Cas’s, still tentatively on Deans part to which Cas’s face seemed to say “please”. Dean was tender with Cas, just gently grinding on each other waiting for proof positive permission from Cas, that this was alright. As if sensing this, Cas barely whispering turned to Dean’s ear and said “Dean, ugh Dean” Cas panted “I can’t take anymore, take me, take me now please I need you inside me, make love to me Dean”. Without a word, Dean grabbed the lube he kept in his nightstand and he lubed himself up. Dean started with the head of his throbbing cock just applying enough pressure for Cas to invite him in. Once the head was in, the rest slipped in but with resistance, it had been a while and Cas was so tight and it drove Dean to the edge. With two strokes, Dean was shaking and holding his breath. “It’s Ok baby, cum for me, please all I want is to feel you fill me up, I miss that”. Dean put up no resistance when Cas said that, he just let go orgasming so hard his motor functions completely stopped working. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Cas”. Dean fell onto Cas’s chest quivering, cock spasming in Cas which stoked the fire in Cas. “Can you move just a little Dean”, Dean pushed as hard as he could into Cas, while stroking Cas’s cock. It didn’t take long, it had been a while for him too. Cas grabbed Dean’s shoulder slowly pushing with Dean and while it wasn’t the best in the world, Cas was worked into cuming albeit strained. “I’m so sorry Cas, it’s just been… so long since we” “I understand Dean, I’m not disappointed” Cas lied “it just felt so good to have you inside me again”. “Just give me a few minutes” Dean laid on his back stroking his hair completely embarrassed by his performance. Cas flopped over onto Dean’s chest “hold me Dean”? Which Dean obliged. Cas started crying “tighter Dean, hold me tighter” and Dean grabbed a hold of Cas and gripped him hard, while stroking his hair, and kissing his head. Cas closed his eyes and felt safe, and even if it was a lie, he felt loved. They fell asleep like this and didn’t stir for hours. Until Cas was awoke to Dean kissing him, unfolding him, unraveling him in Dean’s arms. Cas looked up to see those big, beautiful green eyes and Cas simply nodded. Dean taking the queue mounted Cas, put himself inside Cas, but they barely moved, they were laying arms tangled their faces buried in each other’s necks panting, wanting, trying to ignore the distance between them, the emptiness, the hollowness of their affair. No matter how hard Cas tried to rationalize, he still felt unfaithful even though his lover abandoned him and what’s worse was Dean could sense it. There Cas was, in his arms but not really. But they could sure put on a good show for each other. They kissed hard and deep. And this time it wasn’t two strokes. No, Dean made love to Cas like he was trying to reach him, ground him, bring Cas back into his arms, desperate want. It seemed to be only when they were making love that Cas was mostly present so Dean went deeper, harder, more passionately, trying to reawaken what they used to have and it worked. With one twitch of Dean’s hips Cas, as if reawaken, alive realized where he was and became animate. Grabbing Dean’s hair, kissing him, clawing at his back moving his hips in time with Dean and Dean was spurred on. Cas tightened on Dean’s cock, clenching so hard “ah! Ah Dean! Oh I’m cuming baby” Dean sped up “no Dean, make love to me” so Dean slowed down and they looked maddeningly into each other’s eyes. For the first time all day Dean truly felt wanted, needed, not through hollow words but by Cas’s actions. “Dean, oh Dean I’m cuming so hard! Shit ah! Dean, oh Dean” Cas panted out and Dean knew Cas wasn’t faking, because Cas quivered underneath him, he was hyperventilating, barely able to catch his breath, grasping Dean for dear life. Dean continued his slow, smooth strokes and then it happened, Cas came again and again. Joyously animated he just kept thrusting himself in time with Dean. Dean had never seen this side of Cas, the yearning for Dean’s cock. Screaming, loudly with no reservations, just sweet submission to Dean’s pull. For the first time, Cas allowed himself to lose control with Dean. He figured he owed it to himself and Dean to try. Cas looked happy. Dean pushed himself to keep going not wanting to slow the momentum, “Oh Dean yes! Yes!” Cas screamed, Dean’s chest covered with proof he was doing it right. Dean chuckled out “can I join baby? Am I allowed to cum yet”? “No Dean please keep going”! Cas was being fucked alive… maybe even fucked into love. After a while Cas giggled “oh God Dean I’m sore” the giggle exploding into a laugh. “Oh Dean, oh it never felt so good with you. I love you Dean, I do. I’m sorry I’ve been so stand offish with you” “no need to explain baby, you were hurting” “Dean maybe you were right, maybe it was always supposed to be us”. “Oh, Dean… cum for me baby, I want to feel you fill me up. Ah! I need it, please I need it. I need my fix”. As soon as Cas said that Dean lost all control, he was sloppy and desperate to cum. Dean exploded into Cas so hard he almost lost consciousness. Dean collapsed onto Cas, “holy shit baby. Damn. I don’t know what got into you, but I loved it”. They laid in each other’s arms and found happiness, Cas was happy but sad at the same time, because he didn’t know how long the façade of happiness would last, how long he could lie to himself or Dean, but for now he wanted to enjoy it.

Cas and Dean settled into a routine, coffee, scotch, morning lovin’ and hunting were the staples. They kissed openly and cuddled around the bunker and things were finally starting to feel normal. Dean knew Cas was trying, but he also knew Cas was trying really hard and that mattered… a lot. It meant that Cas may still be hurting over Sam but he was trying to get over it so he could devote himself to Dean. Dean missed that, Cas’s eternal devotion to him. He was lost without it, and Dean told himself as long as Cas was trying he would too. And they were really happy, or at least working towards it. Either way, Dean had Cas back… sort of and that’s all that mattered.


	11. The Other Side Of Happy

The months seemed to pass with ease, Cas was learning to live with Dean’s multiple personalities, and Cas figured if he was going to be stuck in a loveless marriage it might as will be Dean, he was familiar and Cas learned quickly on how to traverse Dean’s constant bullshit. Like his possessive streak, like that one night at the bar when they had decided to go out and drink and one of the local talents decided to wink at Cas. Dean took Cas into the back seat of the Impala and decided to show him who the boss was, remind Cas who he belonged to. Dean was drunk and violent, the way he pushed Cas into the back seat and just pulled his pants down without warning or permission. Dean was sloppy but he was also hard as a rock, without lube or consideration Dean just plowed Cas right there, he thrust hard and painfully in and out. Cas fought back the tears and instead closed his eyes and let it happen. In a way Cas trying to see the silver lining, thinking it was kind of endearing in Dean’s own way. He was jealous and he was claiming his territory, though the pain he caused Cas just kind of wished Dean just peed on his legs instead. There was blood in the back seat which Dean made Cas clean up since it was his. Cas would often think of that night, Dean just thrusting into him with no regard, pounding every inch, Cas screaming, Dean’s hands gripping Cas because no angle Dean found could push him in hard enough. In a sick way it sort of turned Cas on, believing that maybe he deserved this punishment, this is after all what caused Sam to leave, so it was poetic justice that this is what breaks Cas. Cas even permitted the humiliation afterwards, the cleaning of his own blood, the bruises, the not being able to sit for a week. Dean demanded in his stupor that Cas not heal himself, Dean wanted Cas to learn his lesson. It wasn’t sex it was painful discipline. Or the nights Dean would get into the scotch and look at Cas with that look in his eye and then Dean would start rubbing his cock. Cas knew it wouldn’t be long before he was bent over one of the tables being fucked stupid but at least he would usually eek out one… well at least he could get off mostly. Or when Dean would get into one of those moods and decide Cas should pay for the frustrations of Dean’s life. But still Cas loved, with all he could muster. Especially after that conversation he heard about Sam moving on, about someone called Amelia. But all that bad shit was just a small fraction really in comparison to the good times he and Dean shared, and Cas always smiling, loving and patient… much like a Stepford wife only hoping Dean didn’t notice his robotic, going through the motions routine. Cas figured if Sam had moved on so should he, so Cas fell complacent. For the most part, it looked good. One thing Cas enjoyed was hunting with Dean, this is where Cas could remind himself of what a bad ass he was, he wasn’t Dean’s bitch on the battlefield he was himself again, an angel of the Lord fighting the good fight. Dean thought how beautiful Cas was when he was brutally killing badies, graceful, poetry in motion. It was also a great way for Cas to work out his frustrations on how wrong it all had gone. One night after a hunt, as Dean and Cas lay in some unknown substance, presumably the Djinn’s blood, Dean asked Cas “why do you put up with me Cas” the real answer to the query was because Cas knew he had to pay penance for hurting Sam, plus he had no where else to go but Cas kept his cool and simply responded “because I love you” followed by a sheepish grin. Cas wondered sometimes about Sam, what if he knew about the bruises and rough sex, the disciplining and pain. Not because Cas wondered if Sam would stop it, but because he wondered if Sam would be pleased. Cas even secretly fantasized about Sam swooping in and saving Cas from his miserable existence. But as the months passed, Cas realized he was so far down the rabbit hole he was sure there was no escape hatch anymore.


	12. Still Haunted

Cas was back in the motel room where he sought refuge when he was “following a lead” or that’s what he told Dean to get away for a little while. He was laying naked on his bed crying. But someone leaned down and stroked his face, wiping the tears away, he felt pressure on the side of the bed where the person sat down beside him. Cas could barely see though the tears, but he heard a familiar voice “hey Cas”? “Sam”! Cas laid his head in Sam’s hand and Sam cupped Cas’s face. “Cas, baby what have you done to yourself” “I deserve it Sam, don’t you see”? “Honey please, stop hurting yourself. I can’t bear to see this” “but you’re not here Sam, Dean is” Sam looked down, he was so sad, he looked broken and despondent. “Cas, I can’t watch this anymore… it’s killing me” and just like that, Sam was gone… again. 

Cas woke up to Dean gently shaking him because he was sobbing “baby? Baby what happened? Are you Ok”? How to play it off “it was just, I was just having a nightmare about our last hunt, when the Djinn had you… I was so scared” “hey, hey, hey look at me honey, I am right here. I am Ok, besides I know you wouldn’t let anything happen to me” Dean gave a consoling smile. 

Cas had this dream several more times, and each time he woke up sobbing. Until one night things changed, dramatically.

Cas woke up to Sam sitting beside him as usual, but this time there was a look of aggression in Sam’s beautiful eyes. “So you want to be punished Cas”? Cas looking up realized he was fully restrained in this… this contraption. His hands were outstretched and bound to the bed posts, his legs the same. He had a collar around his neck, there was a leash attached to the loop in the center and that too was tied to the bed and he couldn’t speak because of the ball gag. There Cas was, outstretched and fully exposed, ass in the air and he couldn’t move bound by this leather contraption. “You feel like you need to be punished Cas”? Sam repeated. Cas closed his eyes and nodded. Sam started with the riding crop, slapping Cas’s ass firm but gently, Cas hissed at the sensation. Cas then felt pressure, the plug was being used on him, as it was being rocked in, a hand slowly went between Cas’s thighs, gently stroking Cas’s cock. It was so gently, Cas hadn’t been touched that way in so long. It sent shivers down his spine, the light gentle caress of Sam’s soft hands doing things to him that made him feel holy again. The plug was gently pulled out right before Cas climaxed. Next came the familiar ticklish flick of the flogger. Gentle sweeps gave Cas goose bumps and he shivered in anticipation for the cold sting but it never came. It was gentle bondage and it made Cas weep. Next was the familiar warmth of lubrication as Sam gently scissor Cas, loosening him up, making Cas breath heavy, needing to feel Sam inside him, bringing Cas to the verge of tears. After fingers Cas felt Sam’s tongue, his magic tongue that could always bring Cas to heights of ecstasy he didn’t know were possible. “Hold on Cas” Cas said to himself “don’t cum, not yet”, Cas didn’t want to spoil a single orgasm, he fought every urge that made him feel like he was burning from the inside. “Cas, are you waiting for me”? Sam said seductively, Cas nodded. Cas heard Sam taking clothes off and Cas started shaking, he couldn’t wait. Sam got on top of Cas and wrapped his strong arm around Cas’s shoulders and gently slid into Cas. Sam was so gentle, easing into Cas and it didn’t take long until Cas was on fire. Cas held on, he didn’t want to cum, he wanted to savor every moment because it just felt too good. He wanted to capture and save to memory every stroke, Cas held on. Sam continued long, gentle strokes, thrusting deep then pulling out to stroke the head of his cock. Then Sam would go so deep, and not really move, just pump deep and hard into Cas. Their bodies moved in unison and their humming and hissing was in harmony, neither of them wanted an end. Sometime towards the end, Sam reached back into his little bag of tricks and grabbed a small box. Sam took out the contents and without a word, slipped the ring on Cas’s finger, just like Sam, the ring fit like a glove. After what seemed and eternity of sheer bliss, Sam and Cas had simultaneous orgasms that left them crying, shaking and panting. 

“Cas? Wake up honey?” “Dean, what happened”? “I don’t know, you were having a really good dream… or a really bad one. You were moaning up a storm”. Another lie Cas tells “I was dreaming about you”, Cas puts Deans hands on his throbbing cock, after that dream, Cas needed sweet relief, he knew it wouldn’t be the same, Dean wouldn’t take the time Sam did, there was almost no foreplay and Cas was always the bottom. But his cock ached for Sam something fierce and he needed sweet release. “Mm, Cas… I have to know, what did you dream about me doing? Let me play it out for you”. Cas was actually stunned, Dean wanting to play out a fantasy? “Go down Dean”? and much to Cas’s surprise, Dean got on top of Cas and started fiercely kissing him, he then moved down, down, down, kissing and rubbing Cas’s nipples and without a word swallowed Cas whole causing Cas to yelp in a way Dean never heard before which spurred him on. Dean’s beautiful lips were swelling around Cas, he looked up at Cas with those beautiful green eyes and with the memory of Sam, still fresh in his mind, Cas was on the verge, quickly. Cas wondered, he grabbed Dean’s head and thrust into his mouth, sudden quick thrusts fucking Dean’s mouth, taking control of his pleasure. Again to Cas’s surprise, Dean put up no resistance to Cas taking the reigns so to speak. Cas pulled Dean off of his cock “stop baby, I’m going to cum, I can’t… it’s so good baby I’m going to cum”. A third time Dean surprised Cas by grinning and continuing working Cas’s cock, cupping his balls and letting Cas continue to guide his cock deep into Dean’s throat. “Agh, Dean! Dean! Agh! So good! So good baby! I’m Cu…”! That’s all Cas could get out because before he knew it, he sort of black out. He saw black dots in front of his eyes, his head was swimming, his ears were muffled, he was fazing in and out. Cas hadn’t realized it but he came so hard he was crying, he was shaking and numb. He was unable to form a cohesive thought or sentence. Cas hadn’t cum that hard… since Sam. Dean moved back up to Cas to hold him, Dean was laughing at how goofy Cas was acting, how slow he looked. “You OK baby”? Dean chuckled knowing the answer. Cas only laid there panting with eyes closed, breathing shallow. Cas threw an arm around Dean and began kissing his neck, Cas felt like he should return the favor. “No baby, I’m good, this was all about you, making you feel good, for putting up with my shit”. Cas laid in Dean’s arms terribly confused. It was like Dean continued his path on his 180 and for the first time in months felt like things may be Ok. Dean simply whispered in Cas’s ear “I love you” and being that Cas still couldn’t speak simply hummed and nodded in agreement. Dean was feeling like he was on top of the world, he didn’t think he ever pleased Cas like that before, it had a proud smile on his face as he looked at his limp-bodied partner curled up in his arms.


	13. Moving Forward… Not As Planned

After that night, Cas decided to put in a little more effort with Dean, working Dean’s cock in earnest when they had sex, not straining a forced orgasm… not straining a forced anything for that matter, building up more of a tolerance for Dean’s shitty mood swings, being supportive and kind. It had been a year since Sam left and for all intents and purposes Cas just assumed he and Dean weren’t invited to the wedding because Sam was still holding a grudge. So this was Cas’s new life and he had to make it work. In Cas’s bitterness, he seemed to forget Dean was his first everything and even if simply sentimentally speaking he decided he couldn’t lose Dean too. Another fine point was it was because of Dean’s and Cas’s actions that caused Sam to leave in the first place. Things did seem to get simpler once Cas accepted the situation, once Cas committed even Dean seemed to be doing better, drank less. Cas wondered if Dean’s behavior was a result of being treated like second fiddle to Sam, maybe Cas brought these things on to himself because Dean was hurt, because Dean felt like he needed to mark his territory because Dean was feeling Cas not feeling it. Once Dean actually felt like Cas belonged to him, things went smoother. The lies, became less of lies and the I love you’s became a little more genuine. Cas knew it would never be like it was with Sam, but he had to try. And the better Cas got, the better Dean got. 

Dean and Cas celebrated their one year anniversary, things had been going so well… too well. Dean was even being romantic, which was shocking. Cas was impressed, he didn’t remember as much as Dean did at first, but the walk down memory lane helped. Dean took Cas to all their special firsts, the diner they had first shared a milkshake at then snuck a kiss in the alley behind it. They flower shop Dean had bought Cas’s first rose, preordering 52 scarlet red roses, one for every week Cas and Dean had been together. Next Dean took Cas to the restaurant they had their first date for appetizers, then the restaurant where they first held hands in public at. Then Dean took Cas to the motel they lost their virginity to each other at, recreating those first moments in painful detail. Cas lost sight of Dean’s passion, he forgot how good Dean was with Cas’s body. Dean knew hot to stimulate every single nerve, blazing Cas into a frenzy. Cas started remembering how good things were with Dean before Sam complicated things. The last trip of the evening was a real surprise, Dean took Cas to the forest where the werewolf den was, the tree they made love on… the tree still scuffed and marked by Cas’s handprints, Dean put Cas’s hand on the tree then on his arm that bared Cas’s print from when Cas raised Dean from perdition. “Remember this tree Cas”? Cas felt slightly sick realizing this tree probably had different meanings for them, to Cas this was the tree that ruined his life. Dean’s memory was more fond and endearing “Cas, this is the tree that you surrendered on, you gave yourself to me in your moment of fear and doubt. This is where it all became clear, that we were meant to be together. Because you abandoned your senses and dared to let me take you and to hell with the consequences, this is the tree you gave yourself to me under. This is where you chose me for always”. Cas was sobbing, not because Dean was right, but because he thought of this tree as the place that he made the worst decision of his life. And Cas wept because of Dean’s heartfelt sincerity, Dean really believed that Cas chose him by fucking him when the real culprit was adrenaline. “This tree represents the best day of my life” sadly for Cas it represented the worst day of his. But he had to keep up appearances “Oh my God Dean… I’m just, I have no words”. Cas put his head in his hands and was inconsolably weeping. “Hey, hey baby, don’t do that. Come here, we’re together, always and that’s what counts right? You and me against the things that go bump in the night. That’s why, I felt it was appropriate to ask you here Cas, we’ve been through much you and I” Dean fell to one knee “marry me Cas, be with me always”. Cas was stunned, staggered, he lost his breath, he couldn’t… he needed an escape hatch in case the rabbit hole got a little too violent again. “Um, baby? Please say something” Dean pleaded still on bended knee, hand outstretched, “Oh my God Cas, are you literally speechless? I think this is literally the first time I left you in this condition fully clothed” Cas just started laughing, and crying he was laughing and crying and Dean was totally confused. “Dean, I will wear this ring with honor and pride, but we both know you’re not the marrying type. So how about we tell people we’re married, I wear the ring, we just don’t go through the actual motions”. “Cas you still amaze me, but all you talked about was a big wedding, June bride, the whole nine” “I don’t need a ceremony to know who I am with baby” “Cas, you sound like me honey, and it’s a little unnerving” a nervous laugh came from them both. “So Dean? Cas held out his hand” “Oh right of course… duh. I can’t wait to shout it from the rooftops Cas. You see I was really nervous, but now I am convinced you really do love me” “always Dean” but not really Cas thought to himself. Dean went to the car and got a blanket, a bottle of champagne and some melting chocolate covered strawberries and some candles. He brought them out to Cas and sat everything on the blanket, he then turned on the radio quietly so they could have some music as well. Cas looked at the set up and winced thinking of that night at the hotel with Sam. No, don’t reminisce, not now Cas told himself. “You know what Cas? I’m calling mom” “NO”! Cas protested a little too zealously, “I mean, you just gave me the ring and all, let’s enjoy the evening. I don’t want to rush and tell everybody right away anyway, they say it’s bad luck” “that’s involving pregnancy Cas” “Oh my God you’re not…” “No! What the hell kinda question is that, I’m a dude”? “Sorry, you’re right, let’s just not start blasting it right away, I need a little more notice and preparation before the family of the groom advance on the bunker with house warming gifts and congratulations”, Cas chuckled. “You know what Cas, I knew there was a reason why I wanted to unofficially marry you, you’re brilliant… and right as always”. In truth Cas didn’t want to face Sam, the implications, he didn’t want Sam to think he was right and Cas had broken things off to be with Dean. Hell, he didn’t want to face Sam period, he all but avoided the regular check-ups of Mary Winchester and never even asked about Sam because he knew his heart couldn’t bare the pain of hearing about Amelia. Cas figured out of sight out of mind. Cas was finally able to keep the pain of the break-up to a dull roar, and he figured he must have been damn convincing. 

There was Dean, being all beautiful and romantic in front of that damn tree, and Cas knew what he had to do. Dean was being romantic, had just proposed, Cas knew what the next thing was that Dean was expecting. Cas stood up and started swaying softly to the Bob Seger music playing in the background. Dean’s gaze was immediately drawn in eagerness to Cas. Cas started with his trench coat and suit coat which he discarded on the ground. Next was the tie which he playful tossed at Dean. Then Cas slowly started unbuttoning his shirt, Dean tried to stand to help Cas go faster but Cas pushed Dean back to the ground. Cas lifted his index finger and waggled it, saying “now, now, patience boy” Cas said. Dean sat back enthusiastically rubbing the bulge quickly growing in his pants. “Cas, you’re beautiful” and this time it was Dean with a tear in his eye that glinted against the candle light. Cas was moved at how much Dean loved him and dare he say it? Was he falling in love all over again? Cas swayed rhythmically almost feral and native while the aura of the moon danced around his body. He was touching himself as if his hands were his lover’s. Dean was illuminated by Cas’s grace, the candle light twinkling adding ambiance to this heavenly encounter. Cas was lost in the movement and Dean was hypnotized. Cas dropped his pants and seductively wiggled out of them, and there in the evening sky he bared himself under the stars and God and to the Heavens… to Dean… swaying…. Swaying and free. Dean resisted every impulse not wanting to spoil the moment with something as petty as animalistic urges, instead Dean wanted to savor the beauty held before him. Dean wanted to relish in the fact that this Greek Adonis was bedding him tonight… Dean felt the weight of this blessing, this privilege crash around him as Cas condescended himself onto Dean. Fire trailed as their lips slotted together in perfect unison. Dean was breathless and panting. His erection was chaffing because of the denim. “Those seem really restricting” Cas smiled and laid Dean back undressing him as they went. Cas didn’t want to start right away, instead he wanted to feel Dean’s firm embrace grip him tightly, making Cas feel safe and sheltered from the cruel world. Instead he straddled Dean, laying on top of him, their cocks entangled, their tongues danced and their hands glided across each other’s bodies. Slowly, slowly Cas pinned Dean’s hands above his head and started grinding his hips, their cocks and Dean hummed in every sensation. Their sexual encounters seemed rushed and frenzied compared to this slow stroking and grinding, pre-cum entwining. Dean was always concerned about the end result but never really enjoyed the trip getting there. Cas decided to show Dean how to make love. They stayed like that until it hurt, until they panted themselves breathless suffocating under each others kisses. And then when they thought they couldn’t take it anymore, they fought back the inundation of passion and continued like that. No, no instant gratification, if Dean was going to replace Sam, Dean would have to learn the tricks Sam used to get Cas to an explosive release. And so they stayed like that until they both almost climaxed, not from intercourse but from the closeness, the gentle bucking of Cas’s hips. Then, then Cas decided it was time. “Cas, I’m not going to make it, it feels” “shh, shh baby. I’m not going to make it either, just enjoy it” Cas soothed Dean. Cas lifted his body and Dean quaked from the loss of contact. Cas then slid himself on to Dean, slowly, letting each inch ease it’s way in, Dean was whimpering. Cas rode Dean slowly, not going in and out but merely circling his hips. He wanted to take Dean as deep as he could and Dean wanted to feel himself deep inside Cas. This was the first time Dean actually felt Cas, his cock swelling and pulsing inside him, the way Cas’s walls felt. It was like their first time, only better… in a way this was Dean’s first time, making love instead of fucking stupid. Cas looked deep into Dean’s eyes and neither one with word or sound came, hard. There it was, that numbing release Cas missed so much, that hard orgasm that literally takes his breath away. Dean was moved to tears and even Cas’s eyes welled up a bit. It was the most beautiful experience Dean ever had, and the most beautiful experience Cas ever had with Dean. Cas collapsed on the Dean not pulling Dean out of him, just letting he and Dean ride the wave, the aftershocks of the orgasm… orgasm. For the first time in a long time, Cas didn’t simply cum or get off, he had an orgasm and it was pure and magnificent. Dean just held Cas, they laid there in silence because there were no words sufficient enough. Dean wasn’t even fully sure of what happened, the feelings, the sensation… the orgasm. Dean couldn’t tell if he was awake or dreaming, his senses making everything around him feel surreal, like he was having an out of body experience fazing in and out of corporeal. He was genuinely stunned, he knew the sweet dream like memory would not soon leave his heart or thoughts… because of what Cas did to him, whom he faithfully held under the starry night with such fierceness as if fearing it was a dream and at any moment Cas could slip away… his sweet Cas.

The next morning, Cas and Dean were positively glowing, radiant as if reborn. But Dean broke the moment with his usual hardened heart “Cas last night” “yea wow, I know right” Cas simply beaming “is that what he used to do? Is that how Sam used to make love to you” “Dean… what are you…” “Cas, come on be honest with me here, you weren’t you and what happened to me…” “Dean, why do you have to kill the mood? Listen to me, last night I was yours, all yours. I was with you, mind, body and spirit and what we did came from us. There was no Sam involved” Dean was kind of insecure for a tough alpha male “really” “yes Dean, really”. Dean grabbed Cas in his arms “I’m sorry baby, I just…” “I know Dean, it’s Ok baby, I just wanted to share something with you, a softer side, that’s all. If you want to go back to blindly fucking like animals…” “that’s what you think when we make love Cas”? “Dean, you’re not exactly gentle sometimes” “I thought you liked it rough, why am I just learning about this now”? “Because you just asked me to spend the rest of my life with you”. Dean shamefully buried his head in Cas’s neck “I’m sorry I doubted you”. Cas just stood there stroking Dean’s hair and coddling him out of his mood.


	14. Shh, We’re A Secret

Three months had passed since Dean popped the question and was still looking for any indication that Cas was ready to come out into the open with their engagement. Cas was stand-offish and shied away from Dean in public. Dean got a healthy dose of turn about is fair play. Dean felt Cas’s pain, he realized how much it sucked to be kept a secret. All Dean wanted to do was come out about he and Cas’s relationship, he was ready and willing. But Cas protested and changed the subject when Dean brought up calling Mary and Sam. Dean was finally able to sympathize with Cas on the things he put Cas through. This is what spurred Dean’s patience but in the back   
of his mind he wondered if once again, it all came back to Sam.

It was the fourth month and Dean was starting to become agitated with Cas’s reluctance. They would argue all the time “what Cas are you ashamed of me? Are you ashamed that we’re together”? Dean would question. “Of course not Dean, I don’t know why I’m… look I just need more time” for what Cas? To be sure”? “No Dean”! “Oh or you don’t want to admit it to Sammy in case what… he wants you back? Sam moved on Cas, it’s been nearly 18 months, I didn’t want to say anything but he and Amelia got married. He’s gone Cas and he is never coming back, I am all that remains” Cas’s heart sank when Dean made that declaration but he was careful not to let it show. “Cas do you regret choosing me”? Everything in Cas wanted to tell Dean it was a moment of weakness, that he didn’t intend to choose him over Sam but instead “Dean… you were my first everything. How could I regret you, in any way? I love you Dean, the truth is, I guess I just never saw us here, me with a ring on my finger. You just never seemed interested in being out. I feel bad now that I see the pressure I put on you… it’s not as easy as I thought. But it should be easy shouldn’t it? I mean it shouldn’t be hard on either one of us if we truly love each other as much as we say we do. I guess now I’m the one needing time to adjust”. It was the best Cas could come up with and it seemed to have worked, but Cas was going to have to face the terrible truth, he couldn’t lie forever. 

6 months after the proposal came around and Cas decided it was time to tell the world about he and Dean. He got all gussied up and came running down the hall gleefully. He was met by Dean holding a bottle of scotch with a hollow stare and Cas knew Dean was pissed. Cas immediately decided to diffuse the situation “Dean, let’s tell everyone, let’s put it out in the open. We can have a family dinner and…” “shut the fuck up Cas, just stop talking” “Dean I know your upset but I’m ready to…” without a word Dean walked right up to Cas and slugged him. Cas hit the floor stunned and terrified “Dean please, I thought this was what we wanted”? “we”? “Yes, Dean please look, I’m ready, whatever you want, you want the ceremony and declare it in front of God and our loved ones, let’s do it… please Dean” “you don’t mean it Cas” “I do Dean, I swear” Dean put the scotch down, leaned down, grabbed Cas by the collar and swung again, grabbing the bottle of scotch on his way back up. “Dean, please, we’ve been so happy, why are you doing this”? “You know you still call his name in your sleep? The night I blew you, you were calling his name, I wanted to know what he did that was so great… then that little “performance” in the forest. Is that how he used to love you Cas? I’m not Sam”! In complete rage Cas spitefully screamed “no you’re not… and you never will be him”. Cas knew what was coming and he didn’t care, he didn’t care what Dean did to him. “I have tried so hard Cas, I really have” “and I haven’t Dean”? “Like you said, why should we have to try so hard if we really love each other” Dean stumbled down the hall into the study. Cas followed after trying to grab Dean who kept shrugging him off “please Cas, don’t make me hate you, please it would kill me to hate you” “then don’t” Cas immediately tried to remedy the situation and forced a kiss on Dean’s tight lips. “No Cas” Dean shoves Cas down, but Cas only gets back up and tries to kiss him again, “stop it damn it, it doesn’t mean anything” Cas tries to kiss Dean again, only to get another shot to the lip. “Hit me Dean, if it makes you feel better, hit me if it makes you feel like a man. Do whatever you want…” Cas begins sobbing “just please don’t leave me”, Cas falls to his knees. “Get up Cas! Get the fuck up”, Dean puts the scotch down and heaves Cas up to his feet, Cas tries kissing Dean again, this time Dean reciprocates, but forcefully, just as Cas used to force himself. Dean bends Cas over the table, pulls his boxers down, unzips his genes and pounds all of his frustrations out. Dean thinks of every time Cas said Sam’s name, every time Cas thought about Sam, every time he could feel Cas comparing him to Sam or thinking Sam wouldn’t do it that way. He pounds away a year of frustrations, and because Dean had been drinking it took him a good 45 minutes of pounding Cas, hard, painfully tearing Cas and making him bleed heavily all over Dean’s genes. Cas could do nothing but search for purchase, hold on and sob while he was rage fucked, the pain of his limp cock being pressed against the underside of the table just praying for Dean to be done. When Dean pulled out of Cas, Cas was numb, his legs gave way and he collapsed to the floor. Dean pulled a rag out of his pocket and threw it down at Cas “clean yourself up”, Dean steps over Cas and grabs the bottle of scotch and heads to his room stopping only once to turn to Cas “you’re pathetic”. Dean leaves Cas there bleeding and all Cas can do is lay on the cold floor hoping it would sooth the searing pain. After a while Cas drags himself to the bathroom and takes a shower, blood dripping down the faucet. Cas refuses to heal himself, he’s earned this. Cas crawls into bed for the first time in almost 2 years alone. Cas starts wondering if he should put himself out of his misery, permanently. 

The next morning Dean wakes up with a killer hangover with very little recollection of the events that transpired the previous evening. Dean does notice that the bed is empty and goes looking for Cas. “Cas? Honey”?, Dean knocks on Cas’s room and opens the door slowly “baby, what are you still doing in bed” Dean gets closer to hear Cas’s soft crying “honey”? Dean turns Cas over and Cas flinches “please don’t hit me again”, Dean’s stomach drops and he sees Cas sporting a black eye and a fat lip. “Oh my God, baby? What the hell”? Dean pulls the covers down exposing Cas’s nude body heavily bruised and lightly blood stained sheets. “Baby”? “It’s Ok Dean… it’s Ok, we got into a little scuffle that’s all” Cas almost thankful Dean didn’t remember. Maybe that meant Dean wouldn’t leave Cas if he couldn’t remember why he was so angry. “Cas it is not alright… I beat you… I…” Dean looked at the bloody sheets again “Oh my God Cas… did I”? Dean could barely form the words given the implications “did I… “ Dean swallowed “rape you”? “No, baby, we just got a little rough that’s all and… and… “ “Cas you can’t tell me you consented to that”. “Dean really I deserved it. I was being a jackass and pushing your buttons which I know better… I know I shouldn’t when you get like that”, “baby, don’t make excuses. Oh my God Cas” Dean breaking down into tears “what did I do? Why haven’t you healed yourself” “because like I said Dean, I deserved it”, “no…. no you didn’t deserve this no matter what I may have been frustrated about” “Dean… I think it’s time” Dean dreaded the following words, “I think it’s time we tell everyone about us” Cas forced a smile. “No” Dean said sharply, “not after this Cas…” “I think it will ease the tension, you were drunk and you were just frustrated”, as if a wave hit Dean remembered a flash from the previous evening “Dean, let’s tell everyone”, “clean yourself up, you’re pathetic”. “I left you on the floor covered in blood, I called you pathetic”? “Dean, it’s just words” “and I said that after you said let’s tell everyone”? “Dean please, let’s just forget about the whole thing Ok”?


	15. My Boyfriend’s Back And You’re In Deep Sh*t

Dean sat on the bed with Cas looking at the damage he had done having no justified words for forgiveness. As they silently spoke they didn’t hear the bunker door open or notice the figure in the doorway “Cas”? Came the familiar voice. Dean jumped up and Sam got a clear view of Cas… all of Cas. Without a word, Sam walked over and slugged Dean. Cas attempted to get out of bed to stop Sam but was unable to walk. “Sam! Stop! You don’t understand” “what don’t I understand Cas”? “It’s Ok, he proposed”, the room fell silent. “So that gives him the right? Cas I don’t know what happened that night at the wolf den, but I can still… sense things, last night I heard you crying and I knew you were hurt, I came as soon as I could… I’m only sorry I got here too late”. Dean stood up “look man this is between Cas and I so mind your own business” not wanting Sam to interfere and complicate things again. “No, Dean, this has gone too far, Cas get dressed we’re leaving”. “Sam, tell me, how is Amelia going to react to you bringing your ex into your house? Just let us be Sam, we’ve worked it out before” “this happened before”? “Just go back to your life and leave Dean and I to ours”, Sam nodded “wow, Ok, I knew you were into some kinky shit, but this”? Dean proudly piped up “see Cas chose me… again. Now you heard him, we’ll fix this amongst ourselves”. “Well I suggest you and Cas get your shit together, mom is on her way. When I flew out of the house last night she was worried so she’s about an hour behind. She also has a case, vampires. I’ll be outside puking”. And Sam stormed off. “Cas, heal yourself, please. I don’t want mom… look, we will work on this, we’ll talk it out. I make this promise to you, what happened last night will never happen again”. Dean fought back the tears and kissed Cas gently, “God baby I am so sorry, never again. I need you to promise me something, I need you to promise me if I ever get like that you again you will knock me on my ass. I know you can take me”. Dean grinned through the tears, “we’ll fix this, I promise”. Cas laid back into the bed, moved by Dean’s sincerity, thinking on the previous evening, realizing that all this aggression Dean had was probably aimed at the fact that he knew Cas didn’t love him the same, that Cas still carried a torch for Sam and that wasn’t going to change.  
Cas pulled himself together, physically anyway the emotional side however, to heal that was too much to ask for at this juncture. Cas made his way outside to talk to Sam about the incident, “please don’t tell Mary Sam, it’s just… it’s just embarrassing Ok”? Sam reluctantly agreed thinking telling Mary was what needed to happen, maybe it could screw Dean’s head on straight. Cas headed back into the bunker, grabbed Dean’s hand and drew a smile on his face. Mary entered the bunker enthusiastic about hunting with her boys again, it had been a long time since she saw Dean or Cas, for some strange reason, Dean always had an excuse as to why she and Sam couldn’t visit. She thought enough time had passed between Sam and Dean and figured because of Cas’s and Sam’s relationship it would be best to have space. But Mary wasn’t waiting for an invitation, not any more. She missed her boys and desperately wanted to see how Dean and Cas were getting along. Much to Mary’s surprise, she was greeted by both Cas and Dean with held hands and smiles. “Well look at you too” Mary smiled in approval. Dean held Cas’s hand up flashing the ring, Sam who was behind Mary just stood there with a disapproving look on his face, because he knew the truth. He saw the damage Dean was doing to his Cas and it infuriated him. Suddenly the moment was interrupted by a soft, female voice and Cas’s stomach sank, this must be Amelia Cas thought. But to everyone’s surprise, it wasn’t. Mary introduced this new hunter in training. “This is Lisa everyone, her family was killed by vamps before Sam and I could get there, but surprisingly Lisa just grabbed a weapon and impressed us. She studied Krav Maga and really took it to those vamps. The nest that killed her family is the one we’re going after. How about you guys? Are you still hunting”? Dean was distracted by Lisa’s beauty, they were ogling each other, Cas saw something there that Dean hasn’t had for him for a long time… a spark, an attraction. “Dean”! Snapped Sam snapping his fingers in front of Dean’s face. “Oh! Ah, yea, we still hunt. Missed hunting with family though”, “I thought I was your family” squeaked Cas. “Yea, Lisa this is Cas, Dean’s fiancé”, Lisa just sort of nodded “ah” she said. Dean looked furiously at Sam for blowing his cover. “Well that was exactly what Sam and I were thinking, putting the family back together and hunting together again, we have heard some heroic tales about you two though” Cas and Dean gleamed with pride. But somewhere behind the smiles, somewhere beneath the façade, Cas had a sneaking suspicion it may be over with Dean if he lets Dean alone with Lisa for too long, but then Cas began to wonder if that was a bad thing, of course what kind of human or angel would Cas be to leave a ticking time bomb exposed, pawning it off on someone unsuspecting. The family and Lisa sat eating pizza, they were jovial, they were trading stories like bards of yore. Gallant tales of Djinn, werewolves, demons, ghosts, goblins and all the little suckers that bumped in the night. Cas loved the sense of pride Dean had on his face, “Cas and I did this… Cas pulled this maneuver it was something never seen before, it was impressive… you should have seen how Cas took on this beast, Cas is so smart with his research, he is such an asset to the family” “asset”? Cas thought… well he figured Dean was half right anyway. Cas sat in silence separating himself from the festivities, he looked at Dean and Lisa and saw how “right” they looked together. Dean was throwing quips at her and she was catching them and bouncing them back. Cas gave up on those intricacies, in his misery, he forgot how to be funny. He thought of Sam with Amelia and Dean with Lisa and realized for the first time, that was just how things should be. He loved Lisa and Dean together and somehow knew, they were the soul mates. Cas was convinced that he was the source of Dean’s rage, he was the one that brought out the worst in him. It really was all his fault Cas rationalized and he figured that a good partner would bring out Dean’s best. Cas somehow knew in his heart Dean could be good to Lisa, that they could be good together because there wasn’t a tenuous past between them. It was a fresh new love, a fresh start and Cas loved the fact that he could give that to Dean if he was out of the way. As much as Cas and Dean loved each other, it was forced, it was insecurity, fear of being alone, fear of giving up something that cost so much sacrifice. After everything Dean and Cas had cost each other, how could they not even fight to stay together. But the truth was, Cas was tired… he was so tired. 

Cas slinked off the bed with a plan, he knew what had to be done and he was at peace with his course of action “it’s best for everyone” Cas thought. 

“Dean, can I talk to you”? “Yea, sure Sammy of course”, once in private Sam grabbed Dean’s arm “what the hell are you doing”? “What are you talking about Sam”? “The shameless flirting with Lisa? In front of Cas… who less then 24 hours ago you… you know”? “I’m not flirting Sam and as for Cas and I, like I said, butt out”. 

Dean crept into Cas’s room after a few hours “babe, you coming to bed”? “No Dean, I think my space has been replaced” “what the hell is that supposed to mean? “nothing Dean” “Cas I meant what I said, we’re going to fix this” “I know Dean” “well screw you! If you won’t get into my bed, I’m getting into bed with you” and that’s what Dean did. Cas figured one last night together couldn’t hurt, so he gave Dean the room to get comfortable and closed his eyes sleeping peacefully in sound resolve, the first time in a long time”.


	16. The End Is The Beginning Is The End

Dean awoke to an empty bed and the engagement ring on the nightstand. He stormed out of Cas’s room with absolute fury, “Cas”? “Cas”? Dean froze, he heard commotion coming from the kitchen “hey you guys seen Cas”? They all just nodded to each other “no we thought he was still in bed”. Sam and Dean had been here before, the case of the disappearing Cas and it was not something they wanted to go through again, none of their hearts could take it. Dean looked at Mary “I didn’t do it this time” she chuckled uncomfortably. “Damn it Cas”! Was the next phrase to come out of Dean’s lips. Lisa added “hey guys, I know it’s none of my business and I don’t know Cas, but I know that look he had. He looked stoic, resolved and peaceful. That was the same look… someone gave me when they accepted… when they welcomed…” “No Lisa” Dean responded “no, not happening. No Cas and I were having some trouble but we were working on it”. It seemed strange to Sam and Dean, like déjà vu, going through the same thing they did almost two years ago. 

The parallel wasn’t lost on Cas either, he thought back of how everything circled around back to him disappearing. Except this time, like being offered a second chance, Cas was going to do it right. Cas was going to disappear from the Winchesters just like he should of done the first time around. He just didn’t have the balls to do it himself so he was going to seek the help of the vamps to assist with his suicide. That was Cas’s big plan… to walk into the nest but not walk out. Cas stood there outside the vampires nest thinking about how he got here, the premonition from Tanaraq about relationships being destroyed, how twisted everything got, on how the things were to end as they began, about love and promises, the sacrifice and loss, on his life with the Winchesters, about how he learned how to love, he learned how to be a human and how fragile being a human was… how much it hurt. And Cas was just so damn tired.

Back at the bunker, Lisa made a disturbing discovery while searching for Cas, “hey guys, come look at this” Lisa pointed out that a page from the notebook was missing, the notebook that had the directions to the vampire nest, someone had obviously copied it because of the imprint on the sheet underneath it, the tattered paper showed someone had ripped it out and the copy of directions Mary had made was half torn. 

Sam, Dean, Mary and Lisa bolted for the door only to see Cas’s car was still parked “Jesus, he fast traveled there”. They grabbed their gear and jumped in the car all in one swift motion, even Lisa feeling the gravity of the situation. Whatever problems this family was having, she knew all of their love for Cas, even Mary’s outweighed all of that. “Damn it”! Dean shouted… “how far to this God forsaken place”? with urgency in Dean’s voice. “I don’t think it’s far from here, we followed a trail of bodies to a neighboring town so we think they have been moving east” Mary exclaimed. “Don’t worry boys, we’re going to get our Cas back… we’re going to make it… we just have to” the car swerved as Mary started crying. Regardless of what happened, Cas was still one of her boys and she felt protective over him and couldn’t let anything happen to him. She knew the hurt it would cause, for everyone. She knew it was rocky but she knew what Cas meant, he was above all else a constant source of love to both her boys even if they royally screwed everything up, as long as they were alive, things could be fixed, but they had to stay alive. Lisa was in the front seat and grabbed the wheel holding the car steady, “switch with me Mary, let me drive”. They had pulled this maneuver before so Mary could lean out the back seat passenger side window to shoot at some hellion that was chasing the car down, Lisa could be a get away driver for back robberies and Mary knew it was best to let Lisa take the wheel. “Dean, I’m going to get you there, hold on” and Lisa took off like Mario Andretti knowing she was the most emotionally in tact to get them there without getting dead along the way.


	17. Salvation

Cas prayed, it had been a while but he still remembered how, and he thought fondly of Dean and Sam, then he pictured how easy their lives were going to be now with him out of the way. Cas had a peace fall on him he hasn’t felt in a long time, a resolve about him. He took off his trench coat and tie and laid them on the ground. What struck Cas was that he wasn’t scared, he did however wonder if it would hurt, but other then that his mind was blank. He walked up to the nest whistling a merry tune… it was one that Dean played all the time “Carry On My Wayward Son” he believed it was called. He always liked that song. Cas strode with his hands in his pockets whistling giving full notice to the occupants that breakfast as it were was served. Cas figured there was no point in being sneaky about it, Cas came here to die plain and simple. Cas approached the door, knocking “hello? Anyone home”? Cas was met by guttural growls, “hello? Come out, come out”! Cas taunted. “You stumbled into the wrong house angel” “are you sure about that”? Cas quipped back. “Are you trying to get yourself killed”? Cas simply smiled. The vampires stood stumped as they watched Cas barricade the doors so no one could get in or out, “Hungry? Here I am”. 

Cas dropped his angel blade, opened his arms and fell to his knees with no resistance, He smiled and openly awaited his fate, he closed his eyes and felt resolved and free, arms outstretched he welcomed death. The four vampires descended on him, the first bite stung… but after that, it didn’t seem to hurt any more. The blood being drained from Cas made him feel lighter then air, he felt numb and tingly. There was no pain, he just felt like going to sleep and then, it would be over wouldn’t it? Cas didn’t make a sound, he had a calm about him that was silent and almost eerie, even for the vamps, almost like he was already dead before they had a chance to kill him. He just laid there waiting for death’s cold embrace “So this is death” he thought, “it’s really not so bad”. 

Tires screeched into the driveway as Sam, Dean, Mary and Lisa booked it up to the house, they ran across Cas’s coat and tie and knew he was inside. They had to find a way inside. Sam and Dean passed by a window and saw Cas, just lying there with shallow breath and blood on his face. “Cas”! they called but their voices were so distant, Cas felt as if he was being pulled into the floor. “Death was so surreal” he thought, “but it’s not so bad” Cas could barely form thoughts any more. He was dying and he was blissful. Cas looked to the window to see Sam and Dean pounding on the window pain, it sounded like underwater thumping and it was deafening. “At least I got to see their faces one more…” Cas had just smiled serenely and then… he just drifted away. 

Mary came in swinging, and Lisa ripped apart the makeshift barricade, the Winchesters descended on the vampires like gladiators. They had gotten to the last vamp, he was crawling across the floor trying to get away from Sam’s blade, whimpering he looked up and told Sam exactly what he didn’t want to hear “he asked us to do it man. He just dropped his weapon, opened his arms and fell to the floor… he was dead before he got here man. He offered… he all but told us, he came here to die”. Sam was shaking so bad he couldn’t even swing his blade, so Lisa did it for him. There lay Cas and the four vamps who… no, no Cas wasn’t dead, he wasn’t allowed to be. 

They ran to Cas who was shaking, Sam leaned down and covered Cas with his coat, then Sam leaned into Cas’s chest “his breathing is shallow”. Dean knelt down with Sam crying and holding each other, knowing that they were helpless, there was nothing they could do, but watch Cas die. Cas looked up with hooded eyes and smiled seeing Sam and Dean arm in arm, it had been so long. Cas thought It was befitting that since he tore them apart, he should be the one to bring them back together. Cas smiled, “no more… “ Cas coughs up some blood then gurgles and heaves out with labored breath “no… more… pain”, then Cas’s eyes went crossed and just like that, he just stopped breathing. Cas almost naturally seemed to ease into death, that’s what he wanted wasn’t it? To just fade away, and so he did with no pain and no fear on Cas’s face. He looked so peaceful, as if he was only sleeping, he even still had that hint of smile of his face. 

Sam closed Cas’s eyes and fell on top of him “No”!!! Sam screamed, “I was too late”, “Sam it wasn’t” “yes it was Dean! That connection Cas established that night at the wolves den, it never severed. I watched, I watched what you… I had to sit through it dying more each time you… I was waiting for him to give me a sign, I would have… I should have… come sooner”, Dean went pale “Sammy I don’t know why I… I didn’t want to lose him and I didn’t know how to hold him. He thought of you every day Sam, he cried every night and called to you in his sleep”. 

“Boys” Mary said, “this isn’t going to resolve anything, Cas is gone and blaming each other for your short comings isn’t going to change that.” Mary pushed Sam and Dean away from Cas’s lifeless body and crossed his arms. She grabbed some water from the well and cleaned the blood off and fixed his tie. “Lisa, will you help me start a pyre”? “Of course Mary, Cas was a very lucky guy, you guys both loved him a lot, didn’t you”? 

Dean wanted to eat a bullet, how could he let things get this out of hand, that Cas would sooner die then live with him. Dean thought of all the things he did, the fighting, realizing all the while he was trying to hold on to a memory of what he and Cas had… before Sam that is. “I should have just stepped down Sammy. You’re right, I was being selfish, and it cost both of us”. 

Dean walked away into the field, Lisa sat beside him comforting him. “Sammy was right, I was flirting with you… while Cas was planning his suicide I flirted” “Dean, you couldn’t have known and there’s nothing you could have done if he was this unhappy… even if you stopped him from entering that nest he would have still found a way. I know, my sister committed suicide” “Oh, Lisa, I am so” “no Dean, don’t be, we all saw it coming” “then how come I was so blind”? “Because you wanted to be Dean”. Lisa took Dean in her arms and just held him and consoled him.


	18. Death

Sam was in the house with Cas, he knelt beside him holding his hand and crying, Sam didn’t want to let go. Sam leaned down to Cas, “so I guess there’s some things you should know Cas. I told Dean Amelia and I had gotten married, I wanted you both to think I was over you. But I wasn’t, I ended it with Amelia, I knew I could never give myself to her, not completely, not really. I knew you and Dean were working on things and as always, I stepped to the side. I always kept an eye on you though you know? I know that doesn’t mean much anymore, but I had hunters call me to give me updates on how you were fairing. I knew Dean and you were having problems, but you guys always did though. I hated the fighting and I knew what you were doing… hurting yourself because you thought you deserved it and that broke my heart, you didn’t deserve such a heavy burden, you paid to high a price. The cross I made you bare. But as always, I stood in the shadows, I was never far. I wanted to call you a million times when I ended it with Amelia but I was a coward. I thought you would give me a sign but you seemed to be able to hold your own and you seemed so determined to make it work, even if it”… Sam lost his breath and started crying harder… “even if it killed you I guess, and that was because you were forced to hold on to the only thing you had left, because I abandoned you. The only piece of your family still in tact, I should have… I know Dean would have seen eventually if I had come back. You know that connection that we had? I used it to reach out to you, in your dreams… I never knew if it really worked, but in one I put a ring on your finger… I hoped you’d realized I was still there, knowing at any time”, Sam pulls the little black box from his pocket and opens it “I was going to give it to you the evening after you disappeared, I guess it doesn’t seem right now, since you have Dean’s ring. I thought of you too Cas, I cried for you, I called your name out every night too, I heard you calling me every night when I slept and all I wanted to do was come to you. My soul was trapped in a formless void of eternal darkness, I was surrounded drowning, suffocating needing you like the air I breath. I was devoured by hopelessness and you were the only light, hoping you would guide me home. I burned for you, longed for you, I ached. I was haunted by the memory of you. You were my only love… first, last and only… always bound to you in spirit, mind and body. Chained to your heart… and I knew you were chained to mine, eternally. I was in so much pain… mom thought I was going to lose it and I nearly did. But I held on to you still and that was what kept me from the brink. It was all I could do, the only thing I had left, the only thing that kept me going was hope. Hope that one day we could… you weren’t alone Cas… you just weren’t. I missed you with every breath too. No matter how lonely you felt I was always there” Sam raises Cas’s lifeless hand to his chest “if I only had a second chance I would”. 

Right then Sam felt a hand on his shoulder “Dean, how do I… I don’t know what to do” “First, put your ring on him Sammy, that’s how it should have been. I had no idea… until I heard you talking” Sam looked up with tears in his eyes, “you heard that”? “Yea Sammy, we all did, and if I could go back, I would have stepped down instead of trying to force something… I never saw until this moment… it really always should have been you two…. If I had just… Cas would still be alive”, 

“No Dean let’s not turn this into a competition, let’s just say… we both loved him and we both failed him”.

The thunder and lightning rolled through the sky and the rain came poring down as if the Heavens themselves were weeping. 

“Come on Sammy, we have to take Cas… before the weather gets any worse”. Dean had to pull Sam’s hand off of Cas’s corpse while Sam was sobbing uncontrollably.


	19. Redemption

“Alright, enough, I can’t take any more of this”, Sam and Dean turned around to a familiar voice, while Lisa and Mary came running weapons drawn. “No! Mom! Lisa! Put that down”! Dean shrieked. “Gabe? Is that you”? Gabe smiled with his trademark “hello”, then came another “hey guys” and they turned to see Chuck. “Chuck damn it if you guys aren’t depressing” “Gabe, please don’t take my name in vain” “yea sure boss, sorry”. “The heavens are weeping boys” Gabe began, “our brother came home and he’s safe and sound upstairs, he has been a real mess kids, I’m talking eating bon-bons naked in a terry cloth bathrobe watching lifetime and Day of our Lives under layers of snot rags… until he heard you Sam. Yea, things went sideways, but everything appears in order… Dean you have Lisa who you were destined to meet which is probably why you and Cas always felt off kilter” Dean interjects, “how the hell”? “Omnipotent duh” Chuck laughs. “And as for you Sam, well you seem to be in a bit of a pickle” “Gabe! A pickle”? Sam screams out “he’s dead! My Cas is laying there dead! Nothing is right! Nothing is Ok…” “may I interject”? asks Chuck “you boys should know better, have a little faith in me once in a while. You and Cas and Dean and Lisa are meant to be two of the greatest love stories and hunters/huntress stories ever told, Cas, Lisa and Mary all have pivotal roles in the Winchester Gospels” Dean and Lisa smile at each other awkwardly. Gabe picks up the conversation from there “come on boys… of all people you should know… when has death ever been permanent”? Gabe snaps his fingers and he and Chuck disappear. From behind Sam is a loud coughing sound. 

Sam looks down “Cas”! Unable to control his excitement, Sam falls to his knees and wildly kisses Cas, Cas grumbles “ah… ow… Sam I’m happy to see you too but well uh… death, coming back to life and all” Sam laughs and cries at the same time “Oh, I’m sorry baby… I’m so sorry”. “Chuck has a message for all of us, everything is alright with the world and the universe is back in balance. P.S. stop being jackasses… “


	20. Learning To Love Again, Forgiveness & Moving On… In The Right Direction

That night, Dean decided that if it were Chuck’s will for him and Lisa to be soul mates, Dean should probably take her on a date, get to know her better… find things out, like what her last name is. Cas passed by Dean’s room and saw Dean struggling with a tie… “need help with that” Cas giggled “you‘ve never been very good at this” and Cas loops the tie and straightens it. As Cas is adjusting Dean’s tie, Dean takes Cas’s hand in his and kisses him. “I still want to fix us Cas… what I did… that whole year I was such and asshole” “Dean, I think we both were, I think we were just trying to hold on to something that changed too much over the years. I know we started out in love, I know that. We were love… Dean, no one can tell me otherwise. But you can love someone until the end of time… it doesn’t mean they’re right for you. You were set in your ways and I wasn’t willing to compromise. I think we can both find fault. Like you said Dean if you love someone, you shouldn’t have to try so hard. We started out love… let’s hold on to that Dean. Let’s hold on to that and use it to build an even stronger friendship.” “What about Lisa”? “ She’s great, I am more sure now then I have been in a long time, we are with the person we should be with” “even if it’s not each other Cas”? Cas smiles, “Lisa and you are going to be great together, we are exactly where we should be. However if she ever hurts you, I will smite her in a heartbeat” Dean and Cas share a laugh. “I’m going to miss you Cas” “I’m not going anywhere Dean” “you know what I mean Cas” “and when you do, hold on to Lisa, take a breath and realize how happy you are”. Dean and Cas start tearing up “Dean, this isn’t good-bye, not really. I’ll always be here. This isn’t the end of our relationship, just the beginning of a better one for us” “Cas I never apologized… I don’t even have the words to…” “Dean… it’s already forgiven” “you’re an amazing person Cas, my only regret is I didn’t appreciate you sooner” Cas reaches up to kiss Dean one more time… “you’re not so bad yourself Dean”, Cas and Dean take one more good look at each other. Cas sniffles and wipes Dean’s face “Ugh, your first date and you look a mess. Come here” Cas dry Dean’s face “now you should be going, don’t want to keep the lady waiting” “if I didn’t know any better Cas, I would think you’re trying to get rid of me” “go”! 

Cas and Dean come laughing down the hallway meeting Lisa and Sam in the library. Lisa stands up and Dean gets a good look at her, she’s wearing a simple, black cocktail dress and black stilettos with silver heels and accents. She has on a silver chain with a pear shaped diamond and dangling earrings to match. She has on light, neutral make-up and her long, dark brown hair is hanging down across her shoulders. “Cas”! She says ecstatically “hey Lisa”, “look Cas I wanted to talk to you” “no need Lisa, it’s fine… I am totally Ok with this” Cas looks over at Sam with a smile and a wink. “Yeah, of course” Lisa giggles, “thanks Cas”. Cas steps out of the way so Dean can make a b-line for her. “Wow” is all Dean can say, Cas as catty as possible looks at Dean and says “pick your jaw up off the floor there… I think what my dorky best friend here is trying to say is you look stunning”. Lisa giggles again, Dean blurts out “what he said”. Dean is standing motionless, “Oh dear God honey would you please grab Dean by the arm and walk him out or else we will be here all night”. It kind of stung Cas seeing how attracted to Lisa Dean was, but then he looked at Sam again and thought to himself “not really good-bye”. Lisa does as Cas suggests, and guides Dean out of the bunker.

Cas and Sam… finally alone again, they stood rooted to their respective spots just taking each other in, it had been so long. They didn’t know if they should savor the moment or fuck each other’s brains out… both seemed like a good option, maybe they could do both? Without a word, Cas walks over and takes Sam’s hand. Without a word, Cas leads Sam to his bedroom. Sam knew he wanted to kiss Cas’s pain away, all of it… from the night he left until this moment. “Cas… what happened with you and my brother” “Sam, I forgave him… I need you to forgive him too. Let’s color all the ugly hate from our past with love”. Sam smiled, he forgot how kind Cas was, how endearing, how inspiring he was, Sam felt the anger and the pain slowly melt away. “If you can forgive Dean, so can I Cas”. 

There was too much water under that bridge to wade through and Cas and Sam didn’t want to float anywhere but into each other’s waiting arms. “I could hear you Sam… your whispers in the dark. I could feel you in my dreams and I wanted it to be… those weren’t dreams though, were they Sam”, Sam glided effortlessly across the room and took Cas to his chest. Sam stroked Cas’s hair, and kissed his forehead. Sam looked down to Cas and smiled, then he pressed his lips to Cas, and Cas welcomed Sam’s lips. They looked at each other, they need each other like they need air. They wrapped their arms around each other, and this was it, the long awaited kiss, the reunion kiss, the one that rested on their lips for almost two years. They kissed and their tongues tangled as they fell into each other. They fell into each other as easily as Cas fell into death. Cas found there was a certain peace and serenity that came from both, from love and from death. The same painlessness, the same numbing and tingling, the inviting warmth Cas easily submitted to Sam as he did death, but Cas didn’t want to think about death anymore, he wanted to think about Sam… Cas’s new life with Sam. They eagerly undressed each other not even sure if they wanted to have sex, they really just wanted that connection they missed. Skin on skin, arms snaking around each other, heart to heart and breath to breath, spirit and soul as one. They laid down on the bed, barely letting go, no they let go once and they wordlessly swore never again, an oath by kiss. They laid in the bed, laying on their sides, reexploring each other. Their hands fumbling as they relearned the terrain of their bodies. It has been so long, they checked ears and knees all the quirky little places that held those spots, the ones that a little breath, a little tickle, a little stroke could ignite them. It’s funny, they checked these things as if there was a possibility they moved in their time of separation. They had to make sure everything was in order, where it should be. It was awkward, but familiar. There was a moment of fear, when they laid there anxious and wondered if it could ever be the same way as it was that night in the hotel. That fear was gone in and instant, as they laughed and they kissed, they talked and they cried. They lifted the damn and let everything flood through, how they missed each other, of Amelia and Dean, the highlights and lowlights, they shared their feeling, their thoughts, their plans for the future, they talked about them, they made their vows and their peace. They caught up on everything and they spoke as no time has passed even though when they were apart the separation made a day feel like a lifetime. They put to rest any hurt, anger or pain. They poured it all out, all of it… they emptied themselves until their psyche was hollow and there was nothing left. Until in was nothing more then themselves bare and in soft whispers, their souls were pure and they were like virgins on their wedding night. Sam stroked Cas’s face, and Cas silently nodded, they didn’t need words. Sam rolled Cas onto his back and tenderly, Sam thumbed Cas’s lips before he kissed them. The heat between them became a pressure cooker, they needed to be with each other as if their very lives depended on it. Sam was eager but gentle, Cas had been through a rough time and trauma and Sam didn’t want to push Cas. But it was Cas who pulled Sam on top of him, spreading himself in anticipation of Sam. Cas needed Sam inside him just so he could breath again. Sam placed himself inside Cas, one inch at a time, making Cas hiss with pleasure at each calculated stroke. Sam wanted to make love to Cas but there was a desperate, burning passion that lit his skin on fire so much so that he wanted to just take Cas and make him feel his love. But Sam used all his energy to subdue that urge. Instead, Sam fucked himself into Cas slowly and when he hit that spot Sam knew he was home. Subtle thrusts in to Cas, made Cas’s eye roll in the back of his head. Pumping lightly, eager bursts slow and deep. Cas purred and nipped at Sam’s neck “Ah Sam! It feels too good” “I missed you too baby” Sam replied. “Baby” Cas missed that, being Sam’s baby again meant that everything was going to be alright. His sweet Sam. Sam continued exerting every ounce of control and Cas could feel Sam holding back. “Sam… let go baby… let go” as commanded Sam started to strongly pump into Cas, there was enough force, that the bed was moving and the headboard was thumping against the wall. Sam and Cas started to grunt and moan. They closed their eyes tightly, Cas was clawing Sam’s back… oh how Sam missed that sting of nails in his skin. That feeling of knowing he was fucking Cas right. It was sweet and sticky and messy and they loved it. Sam reached down and pulled Cas’s leg up on to his hip, grabbing Cas’s ass, using it as leverage to hit that angle that made Cas’s head swim. “Oh Cas, ah” “Sam, yes! Sam” the headboard wasn’t merely wrapping on the wall anymore, it was pounding against it. Sam stilled himself “are you gonna cum baby”? “Yes Sam, oh please don’t stop”, Sam tested the waters, he thrust harder and Cas didn’t wince, so he thrust harder, harder, harder… until they exploded all over each other, as if two years of missed orgasms came out in that one moment. Sam laid on Cas panting, Cas underneath him quivering. They laid there and didn’t move, they laid their messy, satisfied and in love. 

Sam moved back into the bunker with Cas and Lisa moved in with Dean, Mary agreed to come back after the honeymoon phase because the last time she spent the night there she couldn’t get any sleep. She swore her sons were competing with each other as who could make their partner scream the loudest. Especially that first night, Dean was having a lot of fun learning about what made Lisa tick and Cas and Sam spent a lot of time making up… or making up for time either way. Sam, Dean and Cas decided that what was in the past, stays in the past, they would simply forgive each other and move on to a brave, new chapter of their lives like the other stuff didn’t even happen. No more what ifs no more woulda, coulda, shoulda’s. Everyone wanted a fresh start with none of those lingering feelings hindering their progress as a family, no more rifts. Just a perfectly normal crazy ass family, like things were before. No more secrets and a lot more pies. As a matter of fact, Cas thought these events made everyone stronger, bringing them together, closer then before. Cas even considered it a blessing because it forced everything out in the open. As rough as it got, Cas wouldn’t change a thing, he had faith everything happened as it needed to. Cas saw this as a more united beginning because Sam and Dean weren’t hiding anything from each other anymore, no more sneaking, no more lying, no more excuses, the air was clean and laundry was hanging to dry on the line. Even if everyone thought Cas was nuts, it was Ok because he had enough faith for everyone.


	21. New… New Beginnings

6 months later…

Dean and Sam are standing at the entry way, “Ok, Cas and Lisa are in their places… holding the front line“ Sam and Dean peak into the door “we got 7 on the left about 9 on the right Sammy, and they look rowdy man” “It’s cool Dean, we got this” Sam pats Dean on the shoulder. “You got everything set Sammy” “Yup, lets do this Dean” Alright, ready in 3…2…1 Dean and Sam come bursting through the door like lumbering idiots to the sound of the “Wedding March” in the little white chapel. There’s Cas and Lisa standing tall laughing at their idiot… soon to be husbands. The boys took there place at the alter and mama Winchester stood there proud at the young men her boys had become, thanks to the help of Cas and Lisa of course. The ceremony was quaint but full of life as the boys took their vows to their partners in crime and partners in life. There was a bright new future in their eyes, they could see it’s reflection when they looked at each other. There was a thunderous roar when the priest turned the couples around and presented “The Winchesters”. 

There was a small party after words with nothing but cheers and well wishes, surrounded by family both by blood and by spirit. It was the happiest everyone has been, it was moments like this that washed out the blood, grime and shit of a hunter’s normal existence. It was nice to be at a wedding instead of a funeral for once. And man how all 5 of those Winchesters were glowing. They had strengthened their numbers, they were officially… a clan. “Hey, it’s good to have more Winchesters out here” someone said, “yea, now make more of you little bastards” came another voice… maybe Dean and Lisa thought, when they retired but not yet, they weren’t ready to settle down like that yet. As for Sam and Cas, Sam raised and eyebrow “yes Sam I can create all sorts of miracles”, Cas winked and eye and slapped Sam’s ass.

Unbeknownst to anyone, Chuck and Gabe had a front row seat to the most celebrated union in hunter history, a focal point in the Gospels actually . Chuck leans in to Gabe “I’m just a sucker for happy endings” Chuck takes a tissue and wipes his eyes “I guess that’s why you created them”? Gabe jabs. Chuck smiles and lays his head on Gabe’s shoulder to which Gabe retorts “hey there… don’t get any ideas… my harp doesn’t play in that direction” “Shut up Gabe” and they sit back and quietly enjoy the festivities. It was a joyous occasion that everyone was blessed to be a part of… these little pockets of happiness. 

Sam, Dean, Cas and Lisa settle down after the excitement of the day, and it’s all about the love in the bunker. Cas and Sam are leaning in towards each other in the corner, Lisa is sitting on Dean’s lap. They had all just decided it was time for “bed”… obviously no one would be sleeping but it was a little more dignified then saying “let’s go screw our brains out”. Just as the Winchester clan was heading to bed, Mary came bursting into the bunker “sorry to ruin the mood, but ah… apocalypse anyone”? Sam, Cas, Dean and Lisa gear up and head to the cars and out into the night…. Saving people, loving each other and hunting things.


	22. Epilogue

AND SO, THE WINCHESTER CLAN CHRONICLES BEGIN… 

Please show your love and support if you enjoyed the origins story and would like to read more ☺

Next Chapter Coming Soon!


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